four simple words

The Lord in his infinite grace speaks to me simply and directly with words even a child can understand.

It was Missions Sunday. The sanctuary was decorated with the flags of other countries and we were going to hear a great missionary speak. There was excitement in the air because of the love our people have for missions and reaching the lost of the world. During worship, we were singing a beautiful song about the Lord, how great He is and that He is worthy of praise, when my mind wandered for just a second--only a second. I thought of our upcoming trip to Jamaica and the children's home there. I thought of preparations to be made, etc. They were not bad thoughts but it wasn't the time nor the place for them. In a split second the Lord quietly spoke to my heart and said, "This is about me."

In those four words I was instructed, chastened, and loved. In my heart I replied, "Yes, Lord it is about you." Immediately I reigned in my thoughts and resumed praising the Lord. Afterward, each time my mind drifted His words echoed in my thoughts to bring me back to the moment. He was right. It is about Him. It's all about Him. Church, missions, praise...

Worship time is for Him. It's not time to think godly thoughts, except to praise Him, and it's not time to plan godly duties. It's time to show the Lord our gratitude. To get our eyes off ourselves and onto Him. He brought me into focus with gentle words. I never once felt like I was in trouble. I felt...how can I describe it? It felt nice and I knew I was loved. Even in correction, in instruction, I felt loved.

So this week, when I was troubled by some news about a family member (nothing big at this point--but there is the possibility of something more serious later), even then I remembered the Lord's words to me. "This is about me." Everything that happens to us as his children, is about Him. It's not about us or our challenges. Every problem, every heartache, every trouble is an opportunity for the Lord to show us it's all about Him--and his all sufficiency.

I am thankful for four simple words from the Lord. He helps me understand how safe I am because of how big He is.

I love you all.
Suzanne

what's in my head

I was talking to the Lord and got a chuckle. I could almost see Him laugh a little too. Thinking about this blog and what I have been writing, I mentioned to God that I had a lot of stuff in my head...then as a side note, I said but not all of it is good. Then I thought of some of the things I knew, some little known facts, some oddities I remember and I had to laugh at my understatement. It was then I saw the Lord laugh with me. He KNOWS the stuff that's in my head--and He knows the stuff in yours! He loves our humanity.

What freedom that brings! With Him we don't have to put on airs, be shy, or secretive, or fake. The Lord knows us--from our cram-packed minds to our vulnerabilities and fears.

What are some of the things I know? Let's see. Having taken a botany class a few years ago I know that palm trees are not true trees, but grasses.

Being a trivia buff, I know if you turn an octopus inside out, it will die. I told this to a friend one time and he said, "That makes sense. If I turned you inside out, you'd die, too."

I know that if I'm stranded in the wilderness, I will starve if I eat only rabbit because they are too lean and we need fat to survive--and I know that the best resource for fat in the wilderness are insects. Yep, bugs. Ick.

I know that the three kinds of meat in a meat loaf mix at my local meat market will contain ground veal, pork and beef. The variety gives meat loaf more moistness and depth of flavor.

I know that a really dirty job is collecting slime eels in the bottom of the ocean. Go ahead, ask me. I got a million of them.

But, I have a million good things in my head too. Here are a few of my favorites. I know that in spite of my humanity, or maybe because of it, Jesus loved me enough to die for me. I know that I have the promise of heaven because I am saved by His blood. I know that He promised to never leave me nor forsake me and that He is a very present help in time of need--and I know He's also promised all these things for you.

See, I have good things up there too.

I love you all.
Suzanne

simple steps

I guess it's human nature to complicate that which the Lord makes so simple. When I was a new believer I was guilty of wanting to do things so perfectly right that I made it impossible to live up to my own standards, many of which had nothing to do with God's grace and mercy.

I was sincere and enthusiastic. I wanted to look just right, pray just right, do just the right things, and say all the right words because I was trying to make myself into what I thought a good Christian was. I tried so hard to do it myself that I was often judgemental of those who didn't live up to my standards. But it is Christ who is the one best suited to help us grow in wisdom, maturity and beauty of spirit--and He does so in His own time and more gently than we ever could.

Does it sometimes seem complicated to be a Christian? What about all the rules and terminology? What is our call from the Lord? Exactly what are we supposed to do? Go to church? Pray? Help others in need? Study the Bible? Witness and worship? Sure. Truth is, we want a list. We want steps 1, 2, 3. It can be a daunting task for new believers to know exactly what they are to do as Christians.

For those of us who have been saved longer, we often get lost in all the 'work' we need to do for the Lord and our focus can become skewed. Many times we make things more complicated than Christ himself did when he stopped Saul on his way to Damascus, when what He told him was actually very simple. (Acts 26: 15-18)

After identifying himself to Saul (soon to be renamed Paul), Jesus told him to tell others what he had seen of him and of the things He would show him in the future. He assured his safety with the Jews and the Gentiles and that the purpose of his witness to them was so they would see the truth, the light of Christ. They would turn from Satan to the Lord to also be forgiven of their sins, and go to heaven and be with others of like faith in Jesus.

According to what Jesus told Saul, here are our steps 1, 2, 3.
1. Tell others what the Lord has done for you and about your relationship with Him.
2. Trust the Lord for your personal safety.
3. Lead others to know Christ for the forgiveness of their sins so they can go to heaven, too.

So, new believer, relax and grow in the nurture and grace of the Lord. He will make you as He wills. For us who are longer in the faith, let's encourage our new ones and also be encouraged. He who has begun a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.

I love you all.
Suzanne

washing and oiling

I have been listening to an old Keith Green song called My Eyes Are Dry. It's a simply worded song with a deep truth of God. It goes like this:

"My eyes are dry,
My faith is old,
My heart is hard,
My prayers are cold,
but I know how
I ought to be--
Alive to you and dead to me."

"What can be done for this old heart of mine?
Soften it up with oil and wine.
The oil is you, your Spirit of Love,
Please wash me anew in the wine of your blood."

Have you ever been there? Have you ever had emotionless eyes that have trouble tearing up at the most heartrending thoughts? Ever tried to squeeze out a tear just because you know you should be feeling something--but it just won't come out?

What about old faith? When an opportunity to witness comes up and because we're Christians, we've got to say something godly so we repeat testimonies from the distant past because we have nothing fresh and alive to say?

Ever had a hard heart? A song or sermon or worship service should move us, but instead we wonder how much longer it will last and what we're having for lunch. Or what about the brother or sister we see struggling with life itself? Instead of coming along side and becoming the encourager and spiritual friend, we show a lack of mercy and declare they need to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. Sometimes we don't realize how much we ourselves are lacking--that we have nothing extra to share with them anyway.

How about cold prayers? We're 'supposed' to pray so we say those hurried sentences to claim we've prayed. We've followed the rule. We asked the Lord for the 6 things we need, asked him to bless the people we like, and whined about the inconvenience of our life's little problems. The theme becomes, 'all about me.' Truth is, it's not all about us.

In times past, I've been in all these places. It could be why I've identified so strongly with this song and it has meant so much to me. It not only pinpoints the problems, it gives us the answer to them--getting back to what we knew from the beginning of our walk with Christ. We have to surrender our will to His. It's not always easy to be vulnerable and pliable but if we follow Christ, we are to be dead to ourselves and alive to Christ. After all, it is "in Him we live and move and have our being..."

We must genuinely "enter in" with the Lord when we pray. We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable to Jesus and not go in with all our own answers and directions orchestrating how we want the Lord to work. It is then the other things--the dry eyes, old faith, and hard heart--won't be issues at all, because the Oil and Wine of the Lord will keep us supple and soft in our spirit. We will grow and flourish and minister to each one we meet, whether it be stranger, friend, or family. We will be clay in the Potter's hands.

Lord, don't let me become dry and brittle in my heart and spirit--keep me washed and oiled in you all the time.

I love you all.
Suzanne

peace of mind and heart

John 14:27
"I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. "

Each month that rolls around I do some necessary business with a group of individuals whom I love dearly; my siblings. And, each month I come away from this experience with an agitated heart and mind. I know it's coming and think every time will be different. I think I will handle it better than the last month--that my attitude will be different--that their attitudes will be different. But it never is. So, for several hours of this day, I was particularly ticked off and gripey about them. It's not pretty, and I'm sure it isn't Godly.

My daughter advised me to set some boundaries about phone calls pertaining to this business, and it makes a lot of sense. (Byron and I raised some smart young women.) And I've considered her advice and may just leap out there and do it next month, but I think the issue goes deeper than this. At least it does for me.

One devotional book I read had this very subject on Jan 14. Had I read it then it probably wouldn't have hit home with me as directly as it did on Jan 16. With the agitation fresh in my mind from yesterday, I was convicted by these simple words:

"Ask God to help you get over life's little offenses and irritations quickly...When you put as much energy into 'letting go' as you do into 'stewing and steaming' and trying to control every possible outcome, you'll find that God's peace, "which is so great we cannot understand it." Phillipians 4:7, will start to fill your heart..."

I want the peace that passes all understanding, and I've experienced it many times and in many seasons. What I need is to have deeper peace even in situations when someone just gets on my last nerve. God provides it for us and I want to accept this gift of a peaceful mind and heart, all the time. Help me Lord, to be present--to be immersed--in your peace all the time.

I love you all.
Suzanne

sweet unsolicited declarations

I experienced a first this past weekend. Our eldest granddaughter spent the night with her Suzy (me) on Saturday night. It'd been a fun evening. She, Kayla and I went to Olive Garden and ate a great dinner. We came back to my house and finally took down my Christmas tree. I know, it's already the middle of January. But it's down now.

Anyway, we got through with it late, so when we called it a night we were both very sleepy. Byron was out of town so she, Treasure and I slept in my bed, as is our regular practice. Just before dropping off to sleep, as usual I told her to just call my name if she needed me and I'd wake easily. She said ok and then she took my hand, patted it, and said, "I love you."

My goodness. What a heartwarming experience! For a split second, I was speechless. I wanted to hold onto the feeling of sweet surprise at my lovely girl's affectionate declaration. I was deeply touched because this was the first time she had ever volunteered to express affection before I had. You know the way it usually goes. "I love you." "I love you, too, Suzy." And I cherish those moments, but this time I got to say, "I love you, too."

The Lord shows and tells us first that He loves us, and then assures us that we can be confident of His love--that there needn't be any fear about losing His love--for nothing can separate us from it. Redemption is God demonstrating His love even before the world began. He made a way for us before we even knew we needed it.

Jesus gives us much insight into His work here on earth--to bring us eternal life, prepared for us even "before the world began," when he prays for us in John 17:4-5. 4"I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 5 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. "

Now this is a true love declaration. To give one's life for a friend is the ultimate proof of love, and this is exactly what Jesus did for us. The Lord also says in Jer 31:3 "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

What a great thing! To know that God...almighty God, himself...loves us with an everlasting love is more than my mind can comprehend. He shows us His love for us in many ways, daily. What a great day! I feel loved.

I love you all.

Suzanne

dichotomies

It's been an interesting week. I experienced two totally different ends of the spectrum on Wednesday. In the morning, I worked in the local service center kitchen fixing meals for the homeless. It was our church's day for volunteering so I went to help. It was fun. I met new people, did a good thing, and filled a need. I liked it. We fixed green salad, fruit salad, and helped put together the dinners to hand out.

When we finished, the head cook asked us if we wanted a plate lunch. I hesitated. We all did. It wasn't the meal. It was a perfectly fine meal, but I started to politely refuse. The lady asked again. No one said anything. Then one person said he would, so I accepted too. Some had perfectly good reasons for not accepting. They had previous plans for lunch, or they had to leave early, but I couldn't think of my good reason. Why had I hesitated? I was hungry. Was I just feeling timid? Shy? Most would say a resounding, "You? Shy?"

At first, I wondered if it was usual for the volunteers to eat, or was I taking food from someone who needed it more than I did? But, to be bluntly honest, I think there may have been a seed of pride. Nothing bold or 'in your face' prideful. I certainly didn't feel as though I were too good to eat there, but I felt humbled as I sat and ate my lunch. Would the simple act of eating a meal have humbled me had there not been pride there? As I ate, I wondered how the people outside eating their lunch felt knowing it was perhaps their only meal of the day. I knew that this afternoon I would go home and fix supper for my family.

Later that evening I kept my appointment at the nail salon. I went from feeling humbled by a meal at a service center for the needy, to feeling humbled by a young woman giving me a pedicure; from sitting on a stool eating some beef stew casserole in a kitchen, to sitting on a "throne" with someone washing my feet.

I've had many pedicures in the past and each one reminds me of the foot washing services we had in church many years ago. Even then I'd rather wash feet than have my feet washed. Remember Peter's reaction when Jesus sat down to wash his feet? On this day, I felt particularly unworthy of this special attention even though it was a service for which I was paying. Each experience, the lunch and the pedicure, was at a separate end of the spectrum of life, and each one was humbling in its own way.

I find it easier for me to take charge. It's easier--less emotional--to be the one giving. To be the magnanimous one, the gift giver, the strong one. When I 'gave' my labor at the service center, I was the strong one, giving help--but when I ate, I needed nourishment just like those outside the center eating. I was humbled. When I was getting my pedicure, even though I was paying, she was the strong one. I was receiving care, so in essence, I was the weak one.

2Cor 12:9,10 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. The Lord says when we are weak, then we become strong."

I need to be humbled; to feel the limits of my strength. I need to be aware of my need for the one stronger than I. Thank you, Lord that my strength lies not in my humanity, but in you.

I love you all.
Suzanne

willful pups and willful hearts

We have 3 chihuahuas; Treasure, Blue and Chico. Two of them were pretty badly behaved until a few weeks ago when I began watching the Dog Whisperer on tv. Now, I have only 1 badly behaved, (read: spoiled). pup. In trying to get a handle on their menacing behavior, I've learned a few things about attitude and moldability (is that a real word?).

At first, and for the longest time, the most aggressive of the 3 was Blue, a rescue we adopted about 5 years ago. He started out just an ankle-biter and before you know it, he was a snarling, nipping, little attack dog with a horrible snap. I thought he loved us and wanted to protect us, but Caesar (dog whisperer) says he was fulfilling the leader of the pack role we were supposed to take.

After a few "ch-s", coupled with some "finger" bites", the magic worked. Suddenly, Blue listens to me. He settles down when I make the sound. He calmly walks back to his pillow when the vaccuum is running instead of attacking it. Most importantly, my granddaughters can enter the room while he is in his crate without it sounding like the Tasmanian devil is in the cage. He is becoming a more pleasant, enjoyable pet. Someday, he won't be an ankle biter at all.

Treasure, on the other hand, isn't submitting to this "big dog" quite as easily, I'm afraid. She's a very spoiled daddy's girl. Byron comforts her when she's upset that she can't have a cookie, or when she's agitated about a 'stranger' in the yard. She sleeps on his side of the bed and sits by his side in the evenings. The only time she's mama's girl is when daddy isn't around. I am definitely second fiddle. The vaccuum killer isn't as strong in her anymore and sometimes I can get her to back down at the front door when someone knocks, but she will certainly bite my hand if I try to take away her cookie to show her who's boss. She is a willful little dog and will not give in easily to being led by anyone. She will take more time and consistancy.

Without disrespecting anyone, I find some similarities in spiritual growth and my pups changing from leaders to followers. I have been Blue in my attitude. I have been the obedient child who heard God's voice and did His will. There was order and peace in my heart because I trusted the Lord. The times I trusted Him allowed for more confidence and thus, more peace. There is no experience like that of obedience to the Lord of our lives.

I have also been Treasure when the Lord directed me to change a behavior or attitude, or fix a wrong and I resisted, insisting that I was going to do it my way. The Lord in his wisdom, continued to correct, firmly and with love, never losing his temper with His willful child. His consistancy and love was what was necessary. Even still, I didn't always listen. I would fight to have my own way, to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and it never, brought peace. It always brought turmoil and fear and sadness because I knew it wasn't right. And, as God's children, we want to do the right thing, even while fighting to do what's wrong. It's a battle of the will. There we are, wanting to do God's bidding, but declaring we will do it our way. There can be no peace until we submit to the Lord's loving leadership.

Repentance for a willful spirit isn't always easy, but it is always lovely, because the forgiveness of the Lord is always lovely. I don't want to learn any 'hard' lessons this year. Help me to listen to you, and to follow your direction quickly, Lord. I want to grow in your grace.

I love you all.
Suzanne

ch-ch-ch-changes

I managed to completely skip blogging during the holiday season. It wasn't totally intentional, but I'm sure there was a bit of holiday avoidance there. (If I don't post it, it really isn 't happening-kind of thing.) The holidays are difficult for many people and for many years I was one of them.

My dad died on Christmas Eve day, around noon, in 1990. He was taken off life support after a couple of strokes left him completely incapacitated. It took about 2 hours for him to die after the machines were removed. That night we gathered at Mom's house and exchanged whatever gifts we had purchased and just spent time together. Family came in from out of town and we buried him on Dec 29th. It was a tough time and for many years afterward, Christmas held little fun for me. I made an effort for my granddaughters and family, but they knew how hard it was.

You all know my mother died this year and of the struggles involved with her over the last four years with her illness. Well, I really expected a double-whammy with emotional issues this holiday season and, it's true, there was some of it. But, it wasn't the downer I expected. Yes, I miss my mom terribly. Yes, I thought of things she'd like to have, to give, to bake. These things I will think of for a long time. But with her passing, after such a long season of taking care of her every need, and knowing she is now truly at rest, there is also a sense of free-breathing for me.

In the recent past, it was difficult to fit all the activities into healthcare for my mom. This year I was amazed at how light my heart felt over the last few weeks. I had fun baking, cooking and having family over. I thought if I noticed the difference too much, my lightheartedness would fade away, thus, no blog. Silly, huh?

I have been taking my hormones and supplements as ordered, and I have been praying for my heart's peace through the season. Although I'm not certain which was most influential, I know that without the Lord's hand in the mix, it would't have mattered how many capsules I swallowed or how many doctors I saw.

I hope you all had a great Christmas celebrating our Savior's birth and that this year, 2008, is a growing year in the Lord for us all. I want to know Him more.

I love you all.
Suzanne