staying away from Frazzle City and enjoying the crazy chaos

Only a couple more days till '09 is history and I'm looking forward to a good 2010. We've had some financial challenges this year. Christmas shopping this time was different. Not bad, just different. Work has been nearly non-existent for the family business so we made a real effort to tone down our buying. It made for creative gift giving but it really was kind of fun. I didn't do the "one gift for her, two purchases for me," thing as I have done for so many years previously. You know how those sale prices kinda suck you in and you've just got to go ahead and buy it while it such a great deal! Well, I didn't do that this year. It hardly hurt a bit!

With a smaller gift budget to work with I found myself thoroughly concentrating on the true meaning of the season...the birth of Jesus...and all that it means for us as Christians. I made an effort to slow myself down and make myself "chill" when my temperament tried to lead me down the wild and wooly path to Frazzle City. I asked the Lord to help me be kinder and more patient with everyone I met in town from the customer in front of me to the cashier at the register at the grocery store...and He did. I found that when I was genuinely nicer and more pleasant, not only did my transaction go smoother but I left the encounter feeling really good inside. There is no "up" side to impatience and irritability when dealing with others. Ask me. I know! I deal with both these issues on a daily basis.

Christmas was good this year. We had our Christmas Eve gathering at my house with our immediate and some extended family. I was happy to have almost everyone together. Aunt Wanda and Aunt Margaret stayed at their house because Aunt Wanda isn't up to par right now. She's having some health issues that will hopefully be resolved soon. There was lots of food and laughter but I still missed them a lot that night.

Christmas Day brought our daughters and their families back to our house for gift opening and our traditional Christmas lasagna. Our grandson Sid was with his mom and her family this year. We sure missed him a lot! After we ate we went to visit Byron's mother for a little while and then made it an early evening home. By this time I wasn't the only one ready to call it a day! We were all tired and looking for some place soft to land.

New Year's Eve we're planning the Loftin-Baker-Adams 2nd Annual Wii-lympics. Sid will be home by then and we'll have a blast playing competitive Wii games, eating a great dinner and then shooting off fireworks in the driveway. That's our plan, if the Lord allows. I'm so glad to have children to share the holidays with. I'll admit sometimes it's lovely to just sit and visit with other adults with no children's distractions but for me, Christmas and New Year's Eve just aren't the ones! I love the crazy chaos of the kids with their goofing and rough housing and fun.

It seems like only a few days ago it was 2008, but here it is 2009 and it's nearly gone! I'm looking forward. Forward to what the Lord has in store for us. I am looking forward to hearing from the Lord more clearly and more often. I believe He's always speaking to us so, I want my heart to be sensitive to hear Him well. I would like for the economy to turn around in the near future, but I really don't know what the new year will bring. I'm not afraid, and I know it's sure to be OK because the Lord is in control of it all. Who better to trust with our future than the Lord? I'm hopeful about the days to come for our family.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Heb 13:5

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a lovely Christmas and a good new year. You promise us your presence and your help even in the middle of economic uncertainty and trouble and we love you so much for staying right with us. What a great thing to know that we can be content with what we have! I love you so very much. You are wonderful!

Suz

thankfulness for the simple things

It was a really good day today. Thanksgiving Day. A day for family, friends and feasting. For evaluating. For gratitude to the Lord for his goodness and His bounty. For laughter. For memories of past holidays with family who have gone on. For tears. For contentment with what we have. For peace of mind and heart.

Having recently returned from a mission trip I have noticed my personal "requirements" much less than they might have been before the trip.

Before: I'd have to have my brand of diet soda with lots of ice. After: clean water, preferably cold but not necessary.

Before: I had to have a perfect shower with clean, hot water. After: shower, cold? doesn't matter.

Before: I had to have my hair done just so. makeup perfect. the right clothes. After: clean hair. no makeup. comfy, clean, cool clothing.

Before: I was picky and sometimes complaining because of little inconveniences. After: not so particular and easily satisfied with much less than before.

There's something about not having every little detail exactly how one wants it, when one wants it, and not being able to get it, to help me realize just how little we actually need. Since the trip, I find myself much more content with way less than I thought was absolutely NEEDED. It's a nice feeling, contentment is. It feels safe and well-taken care of. It's an "I may not have all my wants and demands and it's perfectly fine with me. I'll substitute. I'll make do. I'll do without. And I'm good with it." Having said all this, then came Thanksgiving--

Most years at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I become very flustered and stressed out about family dinners and wanting every detail to be perfect, but it was different this year. The mood--ok, my mood--was more relaxed. Our meal today was delicious and abundant and even though my perfectionism gene was more laid back this year (maybe because of the mission trip), we had our usual T-day meal and it was a doozy: Roasted turkey breast, cornbread and herb dressing, mashed potatoes with cream cheese added, candied sweet potato casserole, deviled eggs, gravy, fruit salad, green beans, fresh green salad, orange cranberry relish, rutabaga, rolls, butter and sausage balls, with Coca cola cake, vanilla ice cream, and 3 different pies (pumpkin, homemade sweet potato, and Dutch apple), peppermint bark, and pretzel bark for dessert. My girls and I pulled it all together. Yep. That was our outrageous, usual holiday meal. Such a list of foods and we still didn't have a couple of dishes we'd have had if Mom were still with us, but it all was tasty and I wasn't uptight about getting it all together this year. I started cooking the night before and worked steadily all day on the food. Byron helped me around the house so all I had to concentrate on was kitchen duty. He made the bed, picked up things, vacuumed the floor, took out the trash and just did whatever else that needed doing. What a great help he was! I'd have been a basket case if he hadn't pitched in to help.

The kids were happy and occupied with fun. Summer and Sid took a ride around the neighborhood on the mule (a vehicle, not an animal) with their Papa. He also let them drive it around the yard some and then they spent time in the coop with the chickens. Hannah helped in the kitchen with some of the finishing up details and watched a little tv on the side. Amy pitched in to get dinner on the table. We made Holly rest because she's still recuperating from her surgery a few weeks ago. The guys talked and played Wii and the atmosphere was fun and lively.

Even as I remember these things, they almost sound too good to be true, don't they? But, they're not. Our family has its share of trauma and drama just like every other family in the world, but on this day, with my kids and their spouses and their own kids, and Kayla and her dad, my brother, at our house, I was a happy woman.

I thank the Lord for these obvious blessings and I also thank Him for the ones that aren't so in my face. Oh, they're there, just not so evident to the whole world--like a peaceful attitude for me while getting ready for the festivities--a priceless gift in itself!

I hope you all had a great and gratitude filled day today, too. I'm very thankful for mine. It was a blast!

Thank you, Father, for this excellent day. I appreciate your presence that was so evident in our lives this evening and the lack of stress in my day today. Thank you for a delicious meal, for great dessert, for time with those I love so very much. Lord, I don't want to sound sappy, but I am ever grateful for each blessing you've supplied to us. What a great thing! The Lord and Savior of the whole world stooped down to help me today! I am gratefully blessed beyond measure and I love you for it. I love you so very very much.

Suz

Thursday, Friday, home!

The team came in pretty tired on Thursday afternoon. It was a day of finishing the project and tying up loose ends at the jobsite. The ground prep (including cutting down a tree) and forty foundation posts were formed and poured...and this is the short list. Add to this mix rain, slippery mud and a concrete truck with no four-wheel drive and I think you know where I'm going with this. It was a challenge to maneuver the truck through the mud to pour the posts and then get it back to solid ground so it could leave and I'm sure there were many other parts to the job I just don't know about. There was also some maintenance on the guest house, etc., that the guys pitched in and completed while we were there, but all in all, the stage is now set for the raising of the tabernacles for the Bible school, which was the main goal of our team. The work day- the work week- complete, everyone cleaned up and came to the house for a special dinner.

Supper time the church provided our team with a traditional African meal. It wasn't as much a meal as it was a feast! So much food! We had a labor intensive peanut dish that was a specialty with the Africans. I think that peanuts are roasted and ground for a long time which intensifies the peanut flavor. I thought it was only peanuts but someone said there was seafood in it. We also had red snapper with spicy greens, a gigantic pot of paella with lots of fresh seafood and yellow rice and vegetables, greens with seafood (many different types in this dish), yucca-two ways, plantains-fried and boiled, roasted blue fish, and fresh bread. Like I said, a feast! I tried a variety of dishes, only leaving out one or two of the strongest ones. The flavors were different than I am used to and some of them would have to be an acquired taste, but for me it wasn't about whether or not it was a dish I was crazy about. It was about a great deal of labor extended and an effort put forth to introduce a group of strangers to African food that they are very proud of. Thank you all so much for your hospitality and hard work!

Friday brought us to breakfast at 8:30 instead of 7:00 which was kind of nice. A little extra sleep. We had coffee and breakfast bars, or whatever we wanted to eat. There was no big amount of food on this morning. Everyone just wanted to back off the food train a little. We took care of last day instructions and found out the plans for the day. Everyone was to get ready to go do a little shopping and have lunch before coming back to the house to finish packing and getting ready to leave for the the Malabo airport at 9:30 p.m.

After taking care of all the 'housekeeping' details we had devotions and prayer for Pastor Carroll and Ms Gayle. We asked the Lord to keep them safe, to give them strength and peace and to bless them abundantly. It takes people who are clearly directed by the Lord to move away from church, family and friends to another country to do ministry. The Deals are surely people directed by the Lord and are a blessing to not only to Malabo but to us, too. We love them so much.

The Deals took us to a little place inside a fenced yard on a side street for our first place of shopping and we got some really interesting things there. Pastor Carroll and Ms Gayle helped us all bargain for a fair price and the owner laughed and enjoyed telling us we were getting these great deals because we had two good lawyers, the Deals. It was fun and, in the end, both the team and our seller got what they wanted.

Our second place of shopping was in the town itself where there was lots of downtown traffic. It had lots of interesting African carvings and lots of colorful African dresses. We were shopping and ooohing and ahhing when we looked outside the store to the street. I could not believe my eyes. There, right in the middle of the street, stopped by traffic, was a military vehicle with two soldiers in camo each sitting at a loaded machine gun as they drove through town. Now we know not to stare, or even look at some things that we see on our trips. We certainly don't photograph much of what we see and we never want to purposely draw attention to our team but it's hard to ignore 17 white people in a little African city. I was shaken for a few seconds and wondered if I should just go ahead and hit the ground! Oh yeah. That wouldn't have drawn any more attention to our group. Chubby, old, white woman landing on her belly in the middle of a group of Americans! Yep. No one would ever have noticed me at all.

Although the soldiers looked our way they soon moved along with traffic and we continued our shopping. Afterward, we went to a pizza place for lunch. The food was very good and more like what we are used to at home. It was a pricey lunch for what we ate but it sure hit the spot.

During our stay in Malabo we discovered that the military and police situation was a bit unnerving. The police are definitely not accommodating 'public servants,' and the military is a strong presence in the town with many manned check points around the city. They can and do stop anyone they want to at any time and can be very harassing to whomever they wish. I felt vulnerable to them and didn't like it at all. I learned to ask the Lord for favor with those we met around town and then to simply not look the African men in the eye at any time.

At one military check point that is just before the entrance to our job site, four of us women were stopped before entering the work site. On this particular day, we had earlier brought the team food and now the soldier wanted to know why we didn't bring him food because he was hungry too. Ms Gayle looked straight ahead and matter of factly told him we didn't have anymore food and that we needed to go to the site again. He continued asking for food.

While this was going on, Joyce and I were sitting in the back seat, trying to hide our cameras with our leg and keeping our heads down not looking at anyone or anything except our shoes. Marsha was in the front seat trying to hide her camera with her leg because she knew if he saw it he might want to keep it. Then a second soldier came to her side of the vehicle and was smiling. Marsha thought if she smiled it would diffuse any tension about us--but it did just the opposite. He liked her smile and opened her door! Now this was scary. He could have pulled her out of the truck and kept her there. Marsha was shocked at the opened door and quickly stopped being friendly. Ms Gayle immediately started the truck moving slowly and it made Marsha's door shut. We went quickly past the check point onto the property where the rest of the team was working. It was a nervewracking experience to be sure.

Anyway, back to Friday. We got back to the house and worked hard getting our stuff all packed up after our week there. It's amazing how sprawled out you can get in only a few days but we did it. We had a few hours before time to leave for the airport so Odis and I went to the kitchen to see what we could whip up for dinner. We didn't really want to cook more new food so we started heating up bowls of leftovers from our week there. It wasn't too long and we had a feast set before us once again. Chicken and rice, steak, pasta and sauce, rice and beans, bbq pork chops, mixed veggies, bread, tea, and we were all set. Everyone ate and cleaned up the kitchen and it was time to put the finishing touches on our packing. It was time to head home.

The airport experience wasn't awful and we got through with no mishaps and were soon on our 5 1/2 to 6 hour flight from Malabo to Madrid. That's when the "fun" began. It was a miserable flight partly because the seats are squished together, partly because I didn't get to sit with Byron and partly because some people on this flight were determined they were the ONLY ones flying to Madrid that night and that everything was about THEM! Byron and I were seated in the middle of a group of inebriated Middle Eastern men with him on one side of the aisle and me on the other. So, for this long, middle of the night, unable to doze off so the time would pass faster flight, we had loud talking, fighting, and arrogance all the way to Madrid. I was never so glad to get out of a place in my whole life.

We had about a 4 or 5 hour layover in the Madrid airport but it was really nice and new there. We got food and a little rest. The 9 1/2 hour flight from Madrid to Miami was a breeze compared to the first one. Byron and I had the two seats together on one side of the aisle. He had the window. I had the aisle. There was more legroom. We had movies and food and non-drunk people all around us. It was a good experience. Miami home, though a little delayed, was good too.

We landed safely, deplaned quickly and retrieved our baggage. Good friend Steve was there waiting for us and we got home by 10:30 pm Saturday night. Thirty hours home but oh, so worth it. As great and rewarding and adventurous our trip had been, there's really no place like home.

I learned many things while I was on this trip. Some of which I am already aware and some I'm sure that will surface in the coming days, months or even years. I think that when we stretch ourselves with such new experiences we always come away with something important learned. It changes our perspective on many of the things we do every day. It shapes who we are and who we become. What a great thing!

Father, Thank you for traveling mercies for our whole trip. Thank you for safety on the jobsite. Thank you for no sickness. Thank you for protecting us in every way. Thank you for the Deals and their hospitality. Thank you for their love for you and their obedience to what you want for them. Thank you for our brothers and sisters in Malabo who were so kind and warm to our team. Thank you for the team. What a wonderful group of your children. I love them all so much. Thank you for what you are showing me though the experience of this trip. I am so glad you took us on this journey. It was a blast! I love you so very much.

Suz

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in Malabo...

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...it's already Thursday. The days are flying by and I haven't had time, energy, and often haven't had power or internet to post. Each of my days have been pretty much the same: I get up at 5:30 am, along with Odis and Myles when we walk over to the house and start breakfast for the team. Odis makes several pots of coffee and Myles fries a kilo of bacon. I start water boiling for oatmeal and crack a couple dozen eggs. Soon Marsha and Joyce come in and start cutting up and buttering bread for toast. It's a joint effort and by 7:00 am we have it all done complete with cut up fruit and juice.

After we eat we have devotions. Monday-Benny. Tuesday-Odis. Wednesday-Mike. Thursday-Myles. Friday-it's my turn. The subjects vary and whoever leads has freedom to share what's been on his or her mind during the week. They might be encouraging or emotional but they are always good. We sing a song or two and pray for the Lord to bless our day, give us strength for the work and keep us all safe from harm or danger. Our devotion time helps strengthen our team bond and it's a sweet time of worship.

Byron gives instructions for the work each day and afterward it's time for the workers to head out for the job site where they do all that is humanly possible to do to complete the tasks for the day. Our team is not a group of slackers. They really work diligently to get as much done as possible.

Marsha, Joyce and I have been staying at the house to do what needs to be done for team support like clean up, laundry and meal preparation. After breakfast we clean up the kitchen and not too long after that we start lunch. We've been making 20 or so sandwiches, packing up chips and cookies with them and taking them out to the site so not too much time is spent coming and going for lunch.

Somewhere in the middle of all the kitchen hub bub I take out what we're going to fix for supper that night. We've had some really good meals. Spaghetti, BBQ pork chops, pinto beans, rice, homemade biscuits, beef tenderloin steaks with roasted potatoes and onions, chicken and rice, mixed veggies, broccoli cauliflower, eggplant casserole, fresh salad with homemade french dressing. It's not often we have such a variety on a mission trip and it's been a blast cooking all this great food for the team.

Last night all the girls went to Central Church for the ladies service and Christy preached for us. She did an excellent job with her sermon about journeys--our journeys as women. We are all on the journey that the Lord has given us. Our unique journey and how it's not good for us to compare ourselves to one another and not productive for us to compare our journey to another's journey. We must trust the Lord to lead us however He sees fit for us, personally. It was an uplifting and encouraging message and the African women enjoyed it as much as we did. At the end of the service the ladies presented our ladies with two cases of Coca-Cola because they knew that some of us had been working out in the hot sun and they wanted us to have a Coke on them:) I love it that no matter where I go I see how women all over the world are not so much different than I am. We may look different. We may have different things. We may speak differently. Christy said that although there are differences, there are also similarities. We are women. We are sisters. We are wives. We are mothers. We are a lot alike despite our differences. The dear African sisters in the Lord blessed Christian women from Florida with a very practical gift. How like most any woman in the world. Women are nothing if not practical. What a great thing and what a nice gift!

We came home after the service and ate dinner with the guys who had gotten home just a little bit before we did. After clean up we called it a night and settled down for the evening. Many of us are very tired and need as much rest as is available. Bedtime is pretty early for most because it's not too long until it's time to get up again. AND that crazy rooster has his timer set to go off pretty much all night long! Crazy chicken! Speaking of chickens we have another mama hen with biddies. She has 7 babies of many different colors following her around the yard. They are teeny tiny and cute as little buttons but won't let anyone near them. Also, Pretty, the mother dog had five pups the other day and they are adorable. Cute black and white pups with the exception of one which is sort of brown-black.

It's Thursday morning about 10:30 am here. Breakfast is over and it will be time to fix lunch soon. Tonight a group of African women are going to bring us a traditional African meal for our supper. What a special night this will be! I'll fill you all in on the menu and how it tastes.

As a team, we are looking forward to completing the goals we set out to do. The work team dug 40 holes yesterday and formed them up for concrete today. These are the foundations for the posts for the tabernacles that will one day be a Bible and Training School for African pastors. This is an amazing project because when Pastor Carroll and Gayle came to Malabo 22 years ago there wasn't even one Assembly of God church here. Now there are 150 churches here and a Bible school on the way. What a legacy!

Each of us does what we are able to do on these trips. Some have lots of construction experience. Some have lots of muscle and grit to work hard. And some of us have care giving experience and we take care of those who are out there on the site working. It's all about our unique journey and what the Lord leads us to do.

Father, thank you for this trip and these experiences. Thank you for the unique journey you give to each one of us and for guiding us on it. It's a good day. I love you, Lord.

Suz

Sunday in Malabo

Sunday morning I walked out of our house at about 7:30 am to start breakfast at the Deals kitchen. As I walked across the yard I heard singing. I heard worship songs with deep African harmonies. There were no instruments. No drums. Only voices on the wind praising the Lord early on Sunday morning. It was a splendid moment and it was all mine.

We had a great day Sunday. We divided up about half and half for church service. Benny preached in Pastor Carroll's church in Moca and Ms Gail translated his sermon into Spanish for the congregation. Pastor Carroll translated for Pastor Gary in another church. I went with Pastor Gary's group. It was at the same church Marsha, Joyce and I had gone to the day before for the wedding. They had left all the decorations up and it was a very festive atmosphere.

Service started at 10:30 am so we got ready and were waiting around at the house for time to leave. It was 10:10. 10:20. 10:25 and we were still at the house. Pastor Gary asked Pastor Carroll if should go ahead and leave and Pastor Carroll said, "No. Church starts at 10:30." The church was about 10 minutes away so we left promptly at 10:30. Now one might think that if you are a guest at another church you'd want to be on time or even a little early. Not in Africa. We arrived to a packed house with worship in full swing. The music was lively and people were clapping and singing praises to the Lord. We were met at the front door by a woman in a beautiful green geometric style designed African dress with a matching headdress who led our team down the center aisle right up to the platform! We were all treated as guests of honor.

We sang a few praise songs: some in Spanish, some in English. Announcements were made in Spanish, translated into English and then into French. We were all introduced to the congregation and then it was time for the offerings. Yes I said 'offerings.' The church's pastor, Pastor Sam announced the call for the tithes and recited some of the same verses that Pastor Gary quotes at Glad Tidings every Sunday morning and it occurred to me that all over the world, in Ocoee, FL, and on the other side of the world in Malabo, that God's children are obeying Him in paying tithes and also depending on Him to meet our every need.

An usher brought a white box on a stand and set it in front of the pulpit. It was announced that the offering was for tithes. The music started and starting with the back rows people filed out of their row and lightly danced to the rhythm of the music down the outside aisle to the front where they passed in front of the box and dropped in their tithes. After they passed the box they went up the center aisle dancing all the way back to their seats. Row after row came down until the whole church had given their tithes. Now I really like lively worship songs and these were great! We clapped and sang when we could and even moved our feet a little. It was hard to stay still! and it was really hard not to join the tithe line. I know I wouldn't be able to dance quite like they did but I think it would be fun to try. Maybe next time.

Once the tithes had been given, we sang a song and the usher brought the white box out again. The whole process was repeated for the offering and then there were two more processions for missions, one from the men and one from the ladies. The men brought money for the box and the women did too but they also brought gifts of eggs, bottles of water and other staples. It took a long time and I don't know if it was a special way of doing things because we were visiting or just their Sunday morning practice, but it surely was joyful giving.

Pastor Gary did an excellent job preaching on the necessity of perseverance and how we can keep on going because of the good promise of what is to come and how we can come through it in victory because the Lord is on our side! During the sermon a lady got up a few times and walked down to the altar and then went back to her seat. From where I was sitting I couldn't see what she did when she got up front. I thought she was coming to get a Kleenex. I found out later that the custom is that if a preacher or a singer blesses you by what has been said or sung, you bring up an offering and drop it into the white box. Pastor Gary had at least 5 offerings brought up while he was preaching. Pretty good, huh?

We had a great altar service and I had opportunity to pray with two precious, young, African woman. Well, they were younger than me, anyway. We prayed and we cried and we prayed. When it was time to go we hugged and held hands. It was a great time in the Lord. When church was over we visited with the people and took photos and then went back to the house to meet with the other half of the team and get some lunch at a local restaurant.

Afternoon was a little rest for some and a little handyman stuff for some of the guys. The girls part of the house needed a little work on the water and electrical stuff so a few of the men worked on getting us set up for the rest of the week. Evening brought a trip to the airport to try to get the other suitcases but with little success. Two more bags were retrieved but there were still a bunch more to be gotten today.

Before dark someone yelled into the house for us to come outside and look at the bats. Of course I was the first one out the door! I couldn't believe my eyes. With one look up in the dusky skies I saw hundreds of huge (really, really big!) fruit bats. The sight was amazing and while most of them flew pretty high up, some swooped a little lower giving us just a hint of a shiver of fear! I loved it.

I left my pups in the good hands of the people at the kennel while we are gone and I left my chicks in the good care of Cody. I miss them all but the Lord is so very good to me even in the little things. Pastor Carroll and Ms Gail have a really sweet dog named Pretty and sometimes she licks my toes! It's not as bad as it sounds and she does it because she likes me. The Deals also have some yard chickens! One white hen has two little white chicks and another dark chicken has about 6 babies. There is also a colorful, Bantam rooster who has no sense of timing whatsoever. He usually starts crowing about midnight and then just gives us a booster crow to rouse us out of sleep every couple of hours--but I don't mind at all. He reminds me of home--and my chicks--my pups--and ultimately of my family and friends. Even though we have a great time doing good things and have unique, once in a lifetime experiences, to quote Dorothy, "There's no place like home!"

The day ended peacefully with some of the team sitting around the table, snacking and talking about the days events and laughing about good times we'd had in the past. We talked about our lives at home and what's going on there. The guys made their way to their side of the house and we girls headed into our part to settle in for the evening. The busyness quieted down and the girls and I prayed for little Noah's successful surgery. Lights out and we soon went to sleep ready to start fresh again on Monday.

Lord, everything doesn't always go well and circumstances and situations on our trips are sometimes hard and uncomfortable and inconvenient and it isn't easy for me to always adapt. I know I don't always cope as well as I could, but I feel very blessed to be able to do such interesting and exciting stuff for you! Thank you so much for the African pup and the chicks. Thank you for thinking especially of me. I love you with all my heart.

Suz

Orlando to Miami to Madrid to Malabo

Our flights to Africa went well with no real glitches. We flew to Miami, had a couple hour layover and flew all night to Madrid, the capitol of Spain. We spent the day on a guided tour of this beautiful city which is filled with, not only Spanish history, but of world history.

Our very knowledgeable guide, Cesar--pronounced Say-zaar--was great. Yes, he made us practice pronouncing it the correct way. Still, I'm sure I heard a couple of our ladies call him "Seezer," a time or two. We saw the royal palace from the outside, a great cathedral from the inside, the Plaza de Toro (the local bull fighting arena), street performers, great architecture, and royal parks. After our bus tour and a few stops to walk around a bit, Cesar, he took us to an area where we ate a delicious lunch at the Museo de Jamon (the ham museum). I was glad and a little excited to eat there as I had seen Andrew Zimmern go there on one of his Bizarre Foods episodes. It wasn't bizarre at all and lunch was terrific. We shopped for a short while before being shuttled back to the airport just in time to catch our night flight to Malabo, the final destination of our trip.

As we were loading into the plane we heard a commotion at the rear of the craft. A man was yelling something in Spanish and we could tell he was very upset and angry. A few of us were a bit upset thinking about getting into the air with a crazy, angry guy just a few rows behind us. We found out that he was being deported from Spain for not having a passport and that the two men with him were police officers. While that made me a little more comfortable it still didn't stop the thoughts of disaster in the air.

That's when an African man got up from his seat directly behind me and went back to speak to the man. He spoke to him in Spanish and said, "Look. We are on this plane and we want a good flight. Just because you are upset about being deported doesn't mean you should make the rest of us miserable. Now be quiet." Had we entertained angels unaware? Only the Lord knows for sure. The man still wasn't happy but he did get quiet and the last leg of our journey went off without a hitch. That is if you don't count the exception of many crying toddlers and babies and lots of loud women talking and laughing most of the night but somehow the noise wasn't nearly as disconcerting as the threat of a crazy man in the air. Resting in the hands of the Lord, I slept as we flew toward our last stop--Malabo.

Pastor Carroll and Gail were at the airport to meet us and he helped us get through customs. Pastor Carroll also guided our team members through the procedure for their missing bags. Dealing with airport security and the policia in a third world country can be a nervewracking experience. Hopefully everyone with missing luggage will get it by Sunday night and our trip can continue without any more drama!

We went to the job site today and the guys are working hard trying to lay out the details for the tabernacles to be erected while we are here. Ms Gail took us girls around to find a few necessities for a few who still needed some things we just couldn't share but before we went she made a stop near a church she and Pastor Carroll used to pastor and there was a wedding going on. We were given permission to step inside and photograph the festivities. It was wonderful! The ceremony was nearly over and the music was lively and fun. Women who were dressed beautifully brought their gifts down the aisle to the couple, but they didn't walk solemnly. Not at all. They danced their presents down the aisle to the beat of the live singers song. What a fun thing to do! What a true celebration! A wedding should be a happy event and I think all the 'bridezillas' in USA could learn a little something here. I wonder if it could ever catch on here?

We're cooking spaghetti for the guys tonight and I know they will be tired and hungry. I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday so they can perhaps get a little rest before work again on Monday. Church is tomorrow and Benny will be preaching at Pastor Carroll's church while Pastor Gary preaches at another church. I'm looking forward to whichever service I am assigned to. It will be good for sure.

That's it for today unless something remarkable happens tonight--and it could happen. I love you all and miss you. Above all, the Lord is good.

Father, we always ask your blessing and safety on our trips and you have never failed us. Never! I love how you protect us but also how you calm even your desperate ones who could have a way out but cannot yet see it. I think it's going to be a wonderful week and I can't wait to see what you show us. I love you so very much.

Suz

preparing for our trip to Malabo

It's only a few days until our team from Glad Tidings leaves for Malabo, Equatorial Guinea, Africa. We planned this return trip two years ago when we went to Gabon to put up tabernacles with Pastor Carroll Deal at two churches there. It was great working with him. Our team completed the jobs and we made many friends and memories in July '07. If I never go any place again, I still get to say I went to Africa on a missions trip.

Knowing what we learned from our past trip is helpful in preparing for this one. We know the plane trip is killer and that we will be very tired when we get there. We know that bringing snacks from home is a good idea and that we will see sights we may never see again in our lives. Our project is to start construction on tabernacles for a Bible school to train and prepare new African pastors for their work for the Lord and that our labors will be appreciated by those we are helping. We know that Pastor Carroll treats his teams well, that our established team works together well and that our new team members will be embraced with love and helpfulness from us 'oldies.' We also know we are in store for much that is unknown and, best of all, we know the Lord who is allowing us this great adventure for Him!

It has been a challenge to line up all the details here so we can go away for 10 days or so. Family and friends have been asked for and have offered help and they have been more than willing to pitch in to make this time away as glitch-free as possible. One dear friend even offered to fly in from out west just to help me get away smoothly.

I love all the connections in my life but sometimes I also long for the simplicity of a life that allows me to plan a trip and then just leave at the appointed time--no problem. My life isn't like that at all. We have pets and animals and, most importantly, family that all still need care while we are gone. Life doesn't stop in Apopka, FL just because we make plans to go away and do other things for a few days, even if those things are good things for God.

So, I've made my first list of things to buy and things to do and will work on getting this stuff together this weekend. I should have it all gathered by Monday. Byron and I will pack and I will find other things to pick up that I hadn't thought about. Then, the good Lord willing, we will load up the truck with suitcases, tool boxes, carry-ons, cameras, computer, snacks, and passports on Thursday afternoon and wonder what we've forgotten. We will decide that if we haven't packed it in all our bags yet, then it isn't something that's necessary anyway!

I still feel a little bit at loose ends right now because I'm just not prepared to leave at this moment, but that will come as I check off the things on my list:

Insect repellent. Check. Malaria pills. Check. Rice Krispie Treats. Check.

I trust all the details will come together as they usually do and we will have a productive trip. That we will have a unique time of doing the 'out of the ordinary' for the Lord. That we will have a special time of hearing what the Lord is specifically saying to us in the moment. The Lord is so good to allow us these experiences.

I am pretty sure we will have internet access on the island and I hope to post about our adventures daily. Please pray for our team as we travel and work and please pray for those we are leaving behind for these few days.

I love you all and, Lord willing, will post again soon.

Father, thank you for the great opportunities you place in our lives each day. Thank you for your protective hand and for your ever guiding love for us. I pray you will bless our team and this trip and that you will bless our Christian family in Malabo and our families here. Keep all safe and well. I love you so much, Lord. Thank you for loving us.

Suz

mother hens vs hawks

My chicks are not totally feathered yet so I still have to watch the temperature for them. After it warmed up a little today I put them into the coop for a while so they could have some room to jump, run and take sand baths.

I sat with them for a few minutes enjoying their chickie-ness as they walked up the ramp toward their future nesting boxes and then walked back down again. Or flew off the top of the thing and landed on one of the other girls. Or pooed. Or pecked at the sand, or the food, or one another. They are curious and strange little creatures. I think I'm in love.

After a while I left and did a few things around the house. At one point I decided to check on the chicks from the garage door so I stuck my head out and looked back toward the coop. I heard them first...they were screaming! Then I noticed they were all huddled into one corner...all screaming! I took off running toward them to see what was wrong. A snake? A cat? Somebody get her head stuck in the hole of the chicken wire? Did they ALL get their heads stuck in the chicken wire? (It had happened to one of them earlier.)

My heart raced as I bounded toward the coop (and not gracefully, I might add). "Mama's coming!" My babies were panicked and I was in rescue mode. I ran harder. Just about the time I reached the coop, they saw me coming and stopped their noise, then on the other side of the coop, I saw a large hawk fly from the ground up into the tree just across the fence in our neighbor's yard. The hawk had been tormenting my chicks!

There was no way Hawky Hawkerson could have gotten into the coop to harm my chickens but the chicks didn't know it. All they knew is that a predator was after them. They knew they were in the presence of danger. They wanted the one they had come to depend upon for their food, water and warmth. They wanted their mama. They wanted the Big Chicken--they wanted me!

I didn't let them down. I took them out of the coop and back into the safety of the garage.

I've had pets before but I have to say there's something special about the cry of a youngster, even a chick-youngster, when it's in trouble. My heart pounded and I couldn't get to them fast enough. If it had been necessary to protect them, I would have taken care of Hawky with my bare hands. I wonder if that's how a real mama chicken feels when her babies are threatened.

As I was taking them back to the garage, I thought about the little cries for rescue and about the song that says, "I need you, Jesus, to come to my rescue. Where else can I go?" In essence that's where my chicks were. They needed help and they turned to the one that had been their help in all the days before today's emergency. Me. Their mama.

I also thought of the scripture where the Lord says he wanted to gather his children together as a "hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing." A mother hen wants to protect her offspring in any situation and will try to gather her chicks to hide them under her wings. There is one catch, though. They must come to her! They must be close enough to come to her. Mama Hen will not force her chicks to be protected.

Luke 13:34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing!

Now I am not so naive to think that chickens work on a level of love and care as do we humans. They function on instinct and as cute and as needy as they are, they are animals. I am not. My racing heart and old legs got me to my babies as quickly as possible because of my concern for their safety and well-being.

The Lord compares himself to the mother hen. He is protective of us, his chicks. He knows there is genuine danger just outside the coop of our lives bent on harming His children and He wants us to look to him for our daily needs and our safety. He promises to surely provide it when we come and hide under the shadow of His wing. When we look to him, our protector and provider.

I've seen the hawk just outside my coop. I've been the chick screaming in the corner. I've been terrified because my life and its circumstances seemed totally out of control...and they were out of control, they were out of my control. I have panicked and wondered what in the world was going to come of the mess all around me. And I have heard the Lord call to me and bring sweet rescue to me just as he promised.

What hawk is outside your coop? Sickness, family trouble, temptation, money problems, sadness, hurt, betrayal? Run to the Lord! Run! He will rescue you. He will protect your heart and give you peace. There is no safer place in this world than under the shadow of the Almighty.

Oh dear Father! We need rescue! We...I need you! The hawk is right outside. The predator. Where else can we turn? There is no where else to go. No one else can help me like you. There is no other name by which I am saved. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your deep and total love for us and for your protective wing. I love you so very much.

Suz

my birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 57 years old. Yay.

Now, I am not a Birthday Scrooge. I like having a good time on my birthday. I enjoy celebrating with good wishes from family, friends, cards, cake and ice cream...especially cake and ice cream, but since the first time I experienced pregnancy and childbirth (ooowwww), for me birthdays have shifted from celebrating the birthee (me) to celebrating the birthor (my mom). After I lived through all the months of morning sickness, fatigue, stretch marks, weight gain, labor, and delivery of my daughters, I gained new appreciation for my own mother's role in my birth-day.

Mom told me the story many times about when it came time to have me she was in the hospital in labor for 2 days with no result. She described how exhausted she was from the contractions and how the doc said I was laying crosswise in her body rather than head down ready to arrive. She told me how my dad told the doc if he didn't do something, and SOON, that he was taking her out of the hospital and taking her home--where we might both surely have died.

My mother told me how Dr Tull, under threat of bodily harm from my dad, finally took her into a delivery room and turned me around in her body with forceps that did great physical damage to her and bruised my head, face and shoulders badly. She told me how she, a frail 119 lb woman, nearly died giving birth to her first child. But she lived. And, I lived. Obviously.

When I was a kid, like most other children, my birthday was, "WHOO HOO!, MY birthday!" Hooray for me! As the first child and first niece, I was the hit of the party! It was fun and I loved it. But I always knew in the back of my mind that I had done nothing to get here. Why were people celebrating me?

It's great to have fun with the newborn's entry into her family's lives but I noticed that after a baby is finally here, the mother's effort and experience of pregnancy, labor and delivery are permanently set aside and the focus is shifted to only celebrating the child's arrival. Now, I realize the birth is the fruition of all the mother's experience. I know that having the baby is the whole point, and I understand celebrating. It's a great thing to have a new baby. Children are a gift from the Lord himself. No doubt. I just also think that we should not totally dismiss nearly a year of Mama's life.

There are a bunch of jokes about mothers who in "martyr-ly" fashion constantly remind their children, "I carried you for 9 months in my body and suffered for days in labor with you." There's fun in these humorous jabs, but I would like to see more of us stop and thoughtfully consider our mother's role in our birth. I know we have Mother's Day in May every year as a general appreciation time for mom, but your birthday-- my birthday-- is unique to our own mom's experience.

Every year before my mother died she called me late on that day or even the day after to wish me "Happy Birthday." Every single time she'd say, "I didn't forget you." I'd say, "Oh Mama, if you don't remember it, then nobody does!" Then, almost as though I'd given her some sort of permission, she'd tell me the story all over again. I loved hearing it.

Do you know the story of your very first birthday? That beautiful day when you arrived into this world? If it's possible, ask your Mom about that day and write down what she tells you. Ask her questions. It doesn't have to be a perfect essay, just make it a written part of your history because you don't want to forget it.

Many of you have children or will have children one day and this memory is a great one to pass along. Go ahead. Ask your mom. Yes, you may hear about the drama and the pain and the fear she felt. But, it's a big deal to give birth and, for most, it's a blessed day she will never forget. It's the story of your beginning and a memory you will want to keep forever.

I don't know why the Lord specifically chose my mother for me, but I believe He did. And I don't know why Mom had to suffer so much for me to be born, but she did. My mother went through a lot of pain fifty-seven years ago today, and even though she's in heaven now, I still want to say, "Thank you, Mom. I appreciate everything you went through to bring me into this world."

Father, It's my birthday today and so I thank you for my mother. In your wisdom you gave me to her to bear and to raise. She did the best she knew to do. In your wisdom, you've also placed me in the center of my specific circle of family and friends and I appreciate them so very much. It's going to be a good day, Lord. You're better to me than anybody else! I love you so much.

Suz

one purpose accomplished with unique gifts

I was at my doctor's office yesterday waiting for my name to be called. I'm not sick. It was time to see him so I could keep getting my medicines filled at the drugstore and I needed malaria medicine for our mission trip to Africa in November.

While I was sitting there a young woman was talking really loudly to herself. Well, that's what it looked like anyway. Actually she had one of the ear devices that allowed her to talk on the phone to a real person but she just looked like she was carrying on a conversation with no one in particular.

I tried not to eavesdrop into her lively discourse by reading my book but between sentences I heard, "Africa. Clean water. It's all for the children. We have $X00,000 for the project. Yes. It's all about the children. Aren't you excited, Sam? Yes. Africa...mission... search... contact...village...wells...clean water...etc." There was no way I could have avoided hearing her half of the conversation. She was loud!

After she said good bye, I kept thinking I should mention our mission trip to her and that we should talk. But I didn't do it. Instead I considered all the tidbits I'd heard. Was she Christian or just part of a philanthropic organization? Where in Africa was she planning to put wells? She sounded experienced and very professional on her topic but I also thought that she didn't look like much more than a teen and how could she be in charge of such a large project? As I think about it all now I realize that I could have known all this right from her own words if I'd stretched myself just a little bit and initiated conversation with her.

And, to give you a glimpse into my skeptical self, I wondered how much of her enthusiasm and volume was for the benefit of the waiting room audience? I thought about my personality and how I would never have put my whole conversation 'out there' for the world to hear as she did. It's just not something I'd do.

The young woman was called back to see the doc and soon, so was I. That was the end of it. Right? Nope. In the examination room, the doc asked me where we were going on our mission trip this time. He is a Christian and is always interested in the details of our trips with the church. I told him about Equatorial Guinea and how long we were going to be gone. He mentioned the young woman and her life and the well project. She and her husband have two natural children and they have recently adopted a baby from Uganda. Their clean water project is in the same country and that they hope to someday be missionaries there.

My immediate thought was that her open and enthusiastic personality will serve her well in the mission field. The Lord really knows who needs to be where and puts them in the perfect place with their perfect job. Then I thought about the scripture I'd been reading just the day before.

⁶ In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. ⁷ If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. ⁸ If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly...Romans 12:6-8.

Although it's never profitable, it is a normal thing to compare ourselves with others and that's what I did that day in the waiting room. I am not a young wife and mother with three children, one adopted from Africa, and looking to spend my life on the mission field. I am not skilled in directing large projects for wells in Uganda. I am even too shy to use one of the ear phone devices. But, it's OK. The Lord made the young woman in the waiting room and gave her specific talents which she's using for Him in a great way.

And, by God's grace, so am I.

How great is it that we can take the things we love to do and are good at and use them for the Lord's work. How wonderful that I don't have to have someone else's gift or talent--and she doesn't have to have mine!

As the Lord's children, we all have the same purpose--to tell others about Jesus and what He has done for us--but we each also have a God-given unique way to accomplish the Lord's purpose. It means that comparisons to my sisters in the Lord are useless. It means that I can serve the Lord in the way He's designed for me and that more perfectly fits my bent--and so can you! Knowing this removes the self-imposed expectations about keeping up with anyone else. What we do well, we do for Him. There's no pressure from the Lord to be someone we are not. We can serve Him enthusiastically and without reservation.

The Lord thinks of everything for our good!

Lord, you are so wonderful and creative and encouraging to us. You tell us to, "Go. Do what you're good at doing and do it for Me." Thank you, Father for the young woman I saw in the waiting room the other day. Bless her and her family's lives to work for you. Guide them. Guide us. I appreciate you so much, Lord. I love you.

Suz

blessed clean

Have you ever been really dirty? I mean, dusty, muddy, greasy, sandy, get down and working hard, rolling in the mud, stinky, filthy dirty? I don't know if I have ever been all those things at once, but I have been pretty dirty on occasion.

My dear husband doesn't do anything half way so there are times when he's working on a project that's pretty nasty and he comes in, tired from laboring all day, and he's all of the above. Sometimes I just have to laugh and I say, "You're a dirty bird. What'chu been doin? Rolling around in the dirt?" He takes off his cap, rubs his head and says, "I guess so." Then the first thing he does is head for the shower. He wants to be back to himself and clean again. I think it's mostly a guy thing to get so crazy dirty.

As for me, when I need a bath it's less likely I've been working on a motor, doing yard work, or digging a hole. When I want...need...a shower it's because I have been cleaning house, doing laundry, cooking, taking care of the pups, running errands, etc. and I want to be fresh. I want to wash my hair, be clean and smell good again and a shower does the trick for me in just a few minutes. It's a matter of degrees but the result is the same. Cleanliness may not really be next to godliness, but it's sure nicer than being stinky!

My mother took a shower every other day until about two weeks before she died because she couldn't stand how she felt without one. It took all morning to accomplish this feat but it was necessary for her to feel comfortable and I wanted, more than anything in the world, for her to be as comfortable as possible in her last days.

I'd get out her clean gown and towel and lay them on the bathroom counter, place the shower chair in just the right position for the water not to hit her directly in the face, place a clean washcloth and soap easily within her reach in the shower, turn on the heater in the bathroom, and start the water running a minute or two before she walked in so it'd be nice and warm for her.

"Your things are all set up for your bath, Mom. Let me help you up."

She'd sit on the side of the bed gathering her bearings and her strength to make the 6 steps into her bathroom for the event. I'd turn the water off and once she was seated in the shower, I'd turn the warm water back on. She'd lean forward a little and let the water run over her head, face and body.

"Oh my. That feels so good, Suzy. You just don't know how good this feels to me. You go away and just let me sit here in this water for a while. I'll call you when I need help."

I'd take a few steps into the bedroom and stand by the bathroom door, listening for her call. When she didn't call me right away, then I'd take the opportunity to put fresh sheets on her bed and straighten up her room. In a few minutes, she'd ask me to come help her with her bath and I'd oblige, washing her hair, her back and whatever else she wanted me to wash. When we were done, she was pretty exhausted so I'd quickly dry and dress her so she could brush her teeth at the sink. We'd make her smell good with a little deodorant and Pure Grace cologne. I'd comb her hair and roll it for her and soon she was refreshed and pretty once again and tucked into her clean bed ready for a nap. My mother hadn't been out working in the dirt and hot sun like Byron had but I'll bet she felt as good as he did after she'd had her bath.

My younger cousin, a nurse, went to her friend's house this morning. Her friend is a young woman whose cancer was discovered late and she's very sick. Instead of heading to church, my sweet cousin blessed her friend with a bath. This simple act of kindness, of love, of Christ-likeness, touches my heart more than I can possibly describe. When K leaves her friend this morning, her friend will rest soundly in K's gift of refreshing cleanliness. I love K so much for doing this for her friend.

Showers and baths are wonderful things. Soaps, shampoos, deodorants and perfumes are great things to use and most of us love how we feel when we've washed the work of our day off of our bodies. As much as we want our bodies clean after we've become dirty, hot, sweaty and stinky, the Lord wants us to desire to be clean on the inside too. He wants our hearts and our lives clean. He wants the inside of us clean whether or not we ever get near a drop of water again.

It's a beautiful thing and right in line with what the Lord wants for us, to ask the the Lord to, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Then, the Lord tells us that He, himself, will make us how he wants us. He tells us, "Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool," Isaiah 1:18.

Father, Thank you for those who give of themselves to make others comfortable with something as simple as a bath. It may not seem like a big thing to some, but it's infinitely lovely for the one receiving it. Thank you for the giving heart of a friend. Thank you for being the one who cleans our heart from its scarlet sinfulness to a heart that's white as wool. You are good and your love endures forever. I love you so much.

Suz

messes and mentors

Did you ever see an old movie where a wizened old guy takes a young guy under his wing and says,

"You stick with me, kid. I'll show you what to do. I'll take care of you. It'll be great!"

For a while the kid stays close to Experienced guy and stuff works out well. But that great arrangement doesn't last long. Success leads Young guy to become full of himself and he decides he knows an even better way to do things. Before you know it. Boom! He's in one more pickle.

Experienced guy steps back and never crowds Young guy. Young guy flounders around for a while getting into trouble after trouble, too proud to come back to the one person that's ever helped him. The situation becomes a humongous mess.

There's only one way to end the nightmare of Young guy's own wayward decisions. He turns to his mentor, Experienced guy, who rescues his penitent friend and puts him back on the right road to happiness and success.

Yeah, I saw that one.

I've also seen it played out in real life with friends and acquaintances and it's not a pretty picture when financial situations become messes. We say we depend on the Lord and follow His leading during the good times because it takes small faith to trust the Lord when work is plentiful, our savings account is growing and we're feeling smart and secure in our future. The Lord reigns in boom time. We're really trusting God now!

That's when arrogance can infiltrate our thinking and we are riding on our high horses.

"I'm doing well. Things are really going great guns for us. I think I can handle this stuff."

And, while we may not say it out loud, an attitude of, "Thanks, Lord, but I'll be moving on without you now," pervades our thinking and our actions.

When the down turn comes (and it will come), when work slows down to nearly nothing, when money saved dwindles because there's little coming in and there are bills to pay, when retirement funds lose profits and shrink, we get nervous and scared about what's going to happen to us.

Many of us do that. We put our trust into job security, savings accounts, investments, friends, insurance, or our healthy bodies and physical strength and determine that we will take care of ourselves. We will pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We will maneuver that deal. We will make that contact. We will be shrewd investors. We will wheel and deal 'til the cows come home and in the end we will come out on top. Economy or no economy. We will work hard enough and we will do what it takes to succeed. Yep. That's what we're gonna do alright.

In and of itself, working hard is good. Healthy bodies are good. Wisdom in financial and business matters is good. The glitch is when our entire faith lies in ourselves and what we can accomplish. Try as we might, there are many issues that only the Lord himself can fix. There are times when we aren't smart enough, business savvy enough, or ambitious enough to change it. That's when we discover that the only one who can change it is the Lord.

Just as the younger man in our movie scene returned to his mentor, we must return to the Lord. But how? How do we return to the Lord? He tells us that we return to him by being honest, by doing things His way. He tells us to stop robbing him of tithes and offerings and then makes us promises when we do as He instructs:

Malachi 3 :7-12 ...Return to me, and I will return to you," says the Lord Almighty.

"But you ask, 'How are we to return?' ⁸ "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.

"But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'
"In tithes and offerings. ⁹ You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. ¹⁰ Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. ¹¹ I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the Lord Almighty.¹² "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the Lord Almighty.

It's not about pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps or being brave or being strong. It's about becoming dependent on the Lord. It's about trusting and serving the one who cares and is truly able to do something about our situation. It's about well-placed faith in the Lord. It's about being strong in the Lord--not in ourselves, our bank account, our jobs or in the next get rich quick investment idea floating around.

It's about utter and total dependence on God. It's about honoring him in the way HE wants us to honor Him. The Lord says that obedience is better than sacrifice. It's simple, really. He makes it simple for us because He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows us and wants to hold us close to himself. He says to us,

"Stay with me, child and I'll bring you through this. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I will be your strength. I will carry you. Rest in me. Trust in me."

Father, Thank you for certainty in an uncertain time. Sometimes this economic stuff scares me--but I know who you are. Help me to never ride on my high horse in arrogance, Lord. You are attentive to your children. You have taken good care of my family and me in all times, both easy and hard and I appreciate it so much. I love you, Lord and I trust you.

Suz

needs and wants

My chicken coop is about finished and it's looking really good. Almost too good for chickens. Byron has worked exceptionally hard on this project for me and I really appreciate all the hours he's spent on it. For as much as he's done, the selection of a plan, gathering of materials and hour upon hour of sheer labor, one might think I had to sweet talk, wheedle, cajole or even beg him to start this project. I didn't. It took a phone call to him one day while he was on his job.

"Hi honey. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Just working is all."

"Yeah. I know sweety. Be sure you drink enough water. OK?"

"I will."

"Hey. I have an idea and I want you to build something for me."

"What?"

"I really want some chickens and I want to let them run around the yard during the day but I need a chicken coop to keep them safe at night."

"You do?"

"Yep. I do."

"OK. I'll build you a coop."

"OK. Thank you. I love you!"

"I love you, too. See you this evening."

"OK. See you later."

That was all that was said and now, my coop is nearly finished--after more labor than I ever thought it would take. That's all it took. A desire. A request. A yes. Lots o'work. Finished project. Voila! Yard chickens and fresh eggs to come soon!

Byron is doing this thing for me for one main reason. He loves me. After thirty- nine years he still wants to make his girl happy by giving me something I really want. Even if it is a chicken coop that is going to take considerable labor. That's what love does. It acts to supply the needs and desires for the benefit of the beloved.

The Lord shows His love for us, too. For example, in the last couple of weeks there have been many prayers for a friend's new baby who was born with a heart problem. Family called family called friend called friend to ask for prayer for this newborn, for this definite need. There was a huge need, a strong desire, for a healthy baby for the parents and family, and, out of love many, many people prayed sincerely asking for the Lord to intervene in this child's life. And, the Lord, in His infinite goodness and love, is answering these heartfelt prayers. The baby is doing better and we will continue to ask the Lord to heal him.

The Lord does stuff like this for us all the time for the same reason. Pure love. When we ask sincerely for a need, He answers. When we pray for a want, He often supplies it for us. That's not to say the Lord is like our Christmas tradition of Santa. Heaven forbid! But it is definitely like the role our earthly dads fulfill during our lifetime. My dad often gave me something I wanted, just because I wanted it, and the Lord wants to give us gifts, too. My dad would have never in a million years given me something he felt would harm me--just as my Heavenly Father would never give me harmful things.

⁹Would any of you give your hungry child a stone, if the child asked for some bread?¹⁰Would you give your child a snake if the child asked for a fish? ¹¹As bad as you are, you still know how to give good gifts to your children. But your heavenly Father is even more ready to give good things to people who ask. (Luke 11.9-11)

What need do you have? What desire do you yearn for? Come to the Lord with a humble heart seeking Him and asking Him for what you need. Ask Him and trust His wisdom for your life. Seek Him. The Lord is trustworthy and good. He will be found. He will not turn you away.

Father, thank you for your pure love for your children. Thank you for wisely choosing good gifts for us. Thank you for friends and family that hold us up in prayer when the need is great and thank you for your touch in our friend's baby's life. I am grateful for your presence in my life. I love you so very much.

Suz

building relationship while building a chicken coop

Byron and I worked together today building a chicken coop for the chicks I want. I plan to let the chickens mosey over the yard eating bugs, etc. and I want their eggs. I don't want to butcher any of them. I just want to collect their eggs. And, if I'm really clear about who did what let's say that Byron built the coop and I helped.

My jobs were:

1. holding boards

2. handing him tools he asks for

3. nailing a few nails with a hammer (I really liked doing this part)

4. sighting boards to see if they are straight before he nails them

5. fetching food and drink when needed

6. helping clean up

I know I didn't really do a lot of the actual work we did today on the coop but it was fun for both of us. Yeah, even for Byron. We have a good time doing stuff together--even when I'm not that much help. I know he likes me out there with him because he tells me so but I know it also because of the way he acts while I'm there.

We laugh and talk. Sometimes we yell a little bit because he understands building stuff and I don't but it's OK because we're not mad, just loud. We discuss things other than the coop and chickens. We talk about what's going on in our circle of friends and family. We talk about stuff that bothers us. We laugh about the 60s music we have playing in the garage while we work and how Janis Joplin might have been talented but she sure did have a screaming singing style and how after 30 minutes it really starts to get on my nerves and I'd really like to listen to something else. You know, stuff like that.

It's not about the project itself, even though I will be excited when it's done and I have my little biddies to nurture and raise, and it's not about how skilled I am or how much work I actually do on it. It's about shared time together and a shared goal. It's about alone time with your best friend. It's about love and laughter and relationship. It's about fellowship, one with the other. It's about making memories and the future together.

My day today with Byron is a shadow, a type, of our relationship with Jesus. Fun, friendship, shared experiences, shared purpose, making memories, love, and the future with our elder brother, Jesus. The closer we draw to Jesus, the more we keep Him in the moment to moment of our lives, the sweeter our communication is with Him.

Although He certainly cares about our hurts and struggles, following Christ isn't only about serious stuff. It is absolutely about spending time with Him, practicing His presence at all times of the day and realizing that He is with you...now. Right now. Yes, even at 12:17 am when I can't sleep, AND at 5:30 am when I have to get up. I am aware that He promised never to leave us so that means he's here now. He likes spending time with us. What a dear friend! What a great thing it is to have Him with me even at this moment.

We are building relationship with the Lord even if all we can do is to "hold a couple of tools" or just realize that He is with us. It's not about what I can do for Him. It's about drawing closer to Him, learning to listen and recognizing what He's showing me or telling me to do or what lessons there are to learn. It's about enjoying His presence as I do with my best friend because Jesus is my very best friend. How I love to relax in the moment with Jesus. Wrap me in your arms, Jesus.

Oh Lord, I am tired tonight but what a good day I've had with my husband and with you! It's been fully fun! Thank you so much for Byron who loves me in spite of my faults. Thank you for loving me even more so! I am blessed. Help me to always be aware of your presence with me. I love you.

Suz

falling down

I was in my forties when I fell for the first time as an adult. I tripped over one of those yellow concrete things you pull up to in a parking spot. I'm not sure how I didn't see it. I know those things are there in every parking lot, but I wasn't paying enough attention to where my feet were and somehow my toe got hung up on the edge of it and I started stumbling. And I stumbled. And stumbled...and, yet again. I finally got so tired of tripping along in the parking lot I just gave up and fell down. Right on my lunch. Yep. Squished it. Skinned my knee a little, too. I felt stupid but what was I supposed to do? Keep stumbling until I was so far away from the college that I'd need a taxi to get to class?

After that day you can bet I watched where my feet were and what was on the ground in front of me so I had a pretty good run of staying upright until the year I fell five times! Yep. Count them. FIVE times that year I hit the concrete, or the bricks, the asphalt, or the dirt. It got to be so routine that I teased Byron and told him I sure was getting tired of him picking me up off the ground!

One amazing thing about all those falls is that no matter how many times I put my hands down to catch myself, I never broke a wrist or any other bone and I never got skinned up much. The worst injury I got was when my skin got hung up on some rusty wire when I was heading out to feed our goats. I got a puncture wound so I had to take a tetanus shot. I was surprised to discover how strong our skin really is. For these favors, Lord, I am very grateful.

The other evening while I was at the kitchen sink peeling something to have with our dinner, I looked out the window. Byron and Phil were going out to the garage for something and it was raining. As Byron walked into the building I saw his feet fly out from under him and he hit the concrete pretty hard. I watched to see if I needed to call 911 but I saw Phil rush over to him and help him get up. He got up very slowly but seemed to be OK because he and Phil stayed out there working for a few minutes before he came into the house. He was sore but not injured. For this, dear Jesus, I am also very grateful.

In thinking about all these upsets, I came up with these tidbits about falling:

Falls are usually unexpected.

Falls are unpleasant.

We fall because we aren't watching where we are going or what we are doing.

Falls can just shake us up a little or can hurt us badly.

When we do fall it's nice to have someone to pick us up.

I've literally fallen hard several times in the last few years and those falls hurt my body and my pride, but in thinking about the whole ordeal of losing footing, crashing to the ground, and getting back up again, I see that I have sometimes fallen down in other ways, too.

When I am careless about others, when I don't watch where I am going or what I am doing, when I am not diligent to care for them, then I let friends or family down who need me and count on my help.

There are times when I fall down in my devotion to Jesus, when I neglect to 'pray without ceasing.' I fall down when I don't share Jesus with someone who needs Him. I fall down when I fail to trust Jesus with all my worries and concerns. I fall down when I put ANYTHING before Jesus in my life.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

I've fallen down a lot in my life and yet, our Jesus still picks me up in tender love--He picks US up in tender love, dusts us off, and says, "Go, and sin no more. I'll help you."

And, He does! What a wonderful Saviour! What an awesome God we serve! What a friend we have in Jesus! He never fails to pick us up, to clean us off, to love us unconditionally. We may fall but Jesus never fails!

Thank you so very much for picking me up when I fall, Lord. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I lose focus. Sometimes I just don't pay attention to the important things. Help me to remember. Help me to pay attention to the things that matter most to you. I love you so much, Jesus. You truly are the friend that sticks closer than a brother. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Suz

a few things

We visited our friends, the Bowmans, in Tennessee last week. We had a fun time with them as we always do. They are great hosts and go out of their way to make us feel welcome and comfortable in their home.

On this trip they treated us to a matinee at the local community theater for a musical play called "Smoke On The Mountain." We have history in a small southern Christian church and recognized many aspects of the stereotypical, southern Christian family singing group and the young, exuberant, small church preacher. But this wasn't a poke in the eye kinda play that was mean spirited and derogatory. The play was a warm homey look at some of the funny and poignant things we've experienced in our lives at church. The actors played their parts with empathy for their oh so human characters. We in the congregation, er audience, sang along with the gospel songs they sang and left knowing that, despite all our human frailties, the Lord is good and our brothers and sisters in the Lord are family. I hope I never forget these truths.

We also went on a historical pilgrimage all over the area. Hoyt and Lera were born and raised in the part of Tenn where they now currently live. We were treated to commentary by Hoyt about his and Lera's history in the area. I don't know how he remembers all he does but it was very interesting to be taken back in time with them and to learn of the area's mining history and their youth there. Hoyt would be a perfect source for local historians to ask about how the area has changed over the last 60 or so years. I was amazed at his sharp memory of places and people. I wish I had a small amount of his talent for recall. What a treat for us to be brought along on this journey into his history! We certainly do love them both and look forward to seeing them again when they come home for the winter in Orlando.

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Today is our thirty-ninth wedding anniversary. Yep. August 8, 1970 at eight o'clock p.m., Byron and I were married at the Apopka Church of God. We had a small but pretty wedding with my colors of yellow and green and my white daisies. My best friends, Rose and Alice, and my two sisters, stood up with me as my bridesmaids. Byron had his brothers and a cousin stand with him.

A lot has changed in the 39 years since that night. We have grown daughters, sons-in-law, and grandchildren. My parents, Byron's dad, Uncle Bill, my sister Karla, and my cousin Sondra have died--as well as a host of aunts and uncles. We are definitely showing our age. And time has brought us closer together than ever. He's my best friend and my favorite person in the whole world. I definitely married up. I am so looking forward to each and every new year the Lord allows us to have together.

Happy Anniversary, dear Byron.

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My Uncle Boonie died yesterday. Although we weren't very close in recent years I do have some fun memories of him as a teen. I remember that he took me for a ride in his really fast car. Don't remember if it was a Firebird or Camaro but I remember him hitting the gas and taking off like crazy. It was a blast! I also remember visiting the family with Byron when the girls were little and he took us up Hwy 429 in Tenn--the Tail of the Dragon. He also showed us Cade's Cove for the very first time. Boonie was a good dad and he will be greatly missed. May you rest in peace, Floyd Sweet.

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This post is a little bit of this and a little bit of that but that's how the last couple of days have been--first one thing then another. That's life, I suppose. It's always something. And, that's ok because we have a constant. We have our never wavering, sure as a rock, foundation. We have the Lord to keep us grounded and safe and steady. We are not on shifting sand. We are on the solid rock, Jesus, and I'm so glad.

Lord, Thank you for friends, and memories, and the ebb and flow of life. Thank you for your steadfastness. I love you.

Suz