quiet insides

I've never been a very quiet girl in situations where I was comfortable. As a pre-teen, when I spent the night with Alice or Rosemary, we always got into trouble for being loud or too giggly for way too long before we went to sleep. Even though we all got fussed at, I was usually the instigator in keeping the fun ball rolling. I never wanted the party to end.

As a teen I was the loud girl laughing way too much at something funny, especially when there were boys around. Yes, I was that girl. As an adult, I gained a reputation for becoming extremely silly after 10pm. I was the loud one laughing way too hard but having a blast anyway--and none of this had anything to do with partying. I've never been a drinker of alcoholic beverages--it was totally au natural. Sometimes I wish I could have blamed it on something, anything but my own personality!

Now, please understand, I can still laugh a bluestreak if the mood strikes me just right and the humor is just the least bit skewed--and I'm not talking about a little "tee-hee"--I'm talking loud, braying, hee-haws that take my breath away and make my eyes water. It's not a pretty sound or sight! I said all that to say this: Despite my reputation for raucous laughter in social situations, I've felt quiet lately--on the inside. I know many of you won't believe it, but it's true. Really.

There have been some things, some issues, some challenges going on recently that have me thinking a lot about them. Many of them are matters that I am not at liberty to share with the whole world, so I can't be more specific. There are not a lot of guffaws (I do love that word!), but everything is all right anyhow. My quiet inside is contemplative, yet peaceful. I've shared each of my concerns with the Lord and even though I don't know the end of the story for each care, I do know who is the Lord of the concern and it will be all right however it turns out.

Praise the Lord for He has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalms 28:6-7.

My inner little girl, the very loud one, has hushed for the moment and it's a beautiful thing.

Lord, thank you, for hearing me when I call. Thank you for helping me and filling my heart with joy. I love you so very much.

Suz