old journals

I grabbed an old composition book the other day to make a grocery list in and was surprised to find that it contained a few pages of a journal that I started in June of 1990! Before I go any further about what it contained, I must explain my way of journaling: I begin many journals, all with the best of intentions about doing it faithfully.Trouble is, it never quite seems to work that way. I usually do it for about five or six days or one or two days--whatever strikes my fancy--and then I quit to begin another, on a different day or month, in a different notebook, etc., etc. I've told my girls that when I die and they go through my old essays, notebooks, and papers they will find a few pages here, or a few pages there of my written ramblings and that they should not be surprised too much about it.

Anyway, back to the June 1990 journal-- As one would expect, many things have changed in those nineteen years. At that time I was 37 years old and was the mother of two teen girls. My days were filled with volunteer work at our church's food pantry and my friend Lillian and I were working 5 days a week gathering food, shopping, giving out food to those needing it and witnessing to each one we helped. It was a pretty big operation for the two of us but we had a few faithful helpers who pitched in when we needed it.

My dad was still living then and I often stopped by the house to see him after a day's work at the church. He'd already had his first stroke and it was difficult to communicate with him but we both tried and sometimes we even made a little progress. Most of the time we just sat together and watched television or had a snack. My mom was his primary caregiver and it was often tough for her but she never gave up and never let my dad go lacking for anything. She was an excellent role model for taking care of someone you love who needs help and I think it was partly her example that showed me the way to care for her in her later years.

I prayed a lot that month for my little 12 yr old cousin who was in a serious car accident. She had life-threatening head injuries and we asked the Lord to touch her, to heal her and for her to be normal and He said, "Yes." Jessica is now a grown, married woman with a lovely life in Georgia and she knows the Lord healed her.

Another time our food pantry was very low on canned goods and we were going to have to use some of our limited funds to purchase them. Lillian and I prayed and asked the Lord to meet our need for food and it was only a short time before someone named Margie and Ron brought us 3 boxes full of canned goods and then Joe and a couple of his buddies from Loaves and Fishes came by and gave us their surplus of a truckful of canned goods! How great is that!

Nineteen years can't pass without a lot of changes--and there were a lot of changes. Our 13 goats have come and gone. I have been to university and earned my bachelor's degree in English. Our beautiful daughters grew up and are now married and we have 3 gorgeous grandchildren and two great sons-in-law. We have 3 cute pups that we love dearly. Kayla wasn't even born yet and now she's seventeen and lives with us. We've been on many mission trips and have learned to love people all over the world. I was thin then and I'm not so thin now. We weren't at Glad Tidings Church then, but we are now and are happy there.

I was also pleasantly surprised to notice some similarities in my writing then and now. When I wrote in my journal then I was grateful to the Lord for his blessings to us--and I am grateful to Him now. I prayed when I wrote then--I pray when I write now. The Lord was good then. The Lord is good now.

I miss a lot of people that were in my life then but have since died. My dad had a couple more strokes two weeks before Christmas and died on December 24th of that year and Aunt Shirley, Aunt Reva, Uncle Bill, my cousin Sondra, Mom and my sister Karla all died since then, as well as a host of other relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Many of whom I look forward to seeing again when the Lord comes or when I die.

Some things change. Some things remain the same. It blesses my heart to no end to read how faithful the Lord was to me back in June and July of 1990. I see how faithful He was and realize that His faithfulness is neverending. He will hold me in the palm of His hand forever. I will not be alone. I will always have Him in times of ease and plenty as well as those times of hurt and sorrow and need. If there's one main truth that I see it's that the Lord is trustworthy to His children. He is faithful to us beyond measure.

As I read through my old journal's pages I thought of a song we used to sing in church:

"Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.
Every day with Jesus I love Him more and more.
Jesus saves and keeps me and He's the one I'm waiting for.
Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before."

Father, thank you for your faithfulness to me . Every day with You is sweeter than the day before. I love you. I love you. I love you!

Suz