broken dolls and broken people

Every doll I ever had as a kid ended up looking like a tortured war victim. First came the obligatory bath, followed by the hair brushing and/or haircut. When the hair was sufficiently bushy and uncontrollable or completely whacked off, out came the ball point pen to draw on blue lipstick or earrings or a necklace and bracelet.

All the cute clothes she'd had when she was new--gone. I don't know where. They were just gone. The end result was always totally and completely ugly.

Mud fence ugly.

Yes, it was that bad. Always. With no exceptions.

My poor doll--the one that had been cherished and tenderly looked after only months before--was then summarily relegated to the bottom of the toy box never to be thought of or seen again until some future cleaning day when she would be discarded forever. There was no other way out.

Cold, huh? Heartless, right? You betcha.

Like my pitiful broken dolls, it happens all the time in the real world, too. Real live human beings beaten down by others, or circumstances or their own choices and they don't have the strength within themselves to get up. They don't have it within them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and try one more time to get off those pills or the booze. There is no energy or resolve to try one more time to get off the street and into a regular home where they can live safely without the fear of being robbed, beaten or worse.

I know many broken people. Some are family. Some are people I see as I drive through town. Some beg for money. Some sit there dejected and sad. Some busy themselves with shopping carts filled with their stuff. Their whole lives crammed into a metal basket on wheels.

Sometimes the brokenness is inward. Fear grips. Personal lives are a mess. Relationships have soured so badly it doesn't seem like they can ever be sweet again. Finances are such that it will be only days before choices are which bill to put a little money on or whether to eat or buy medicine. Hope is thready and thin. There seems to be no where to turn. It's the bottom of the toy box.

Micah 7:1
What misery is mine! I feel like the fruit picker after the harvest who can find nothing to eat. Not a cluster of grapes or a single fig can be found to satisfy my hunger.

Nothing on earth satisfies this gut hunger. This hunger for a real life, for peace of mind and heart doesn't begin and end with an 8-5 job. These dear, broken ones' misery is so all encompassing it seems as though there is no end. This misery isn't only of physical need. This misery and emptiness is caused by the absence of Jesus. He is the fixer of broken people. Regardless of why or how a person gets there, the Lord helps all those who call on Him.

Psalms 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.

Do you know any frightened, broken ones? Are you broken outwardly or is your brokenness hidden? The Lord will help you. He will make you whole. Call on Him.

We can trust Him. He promised.

Suz

worship on Sunday

During worship on Sunday, I began thanking the Lord, one by one, for my family. I pictured each one individually, thought about their good qualities, and thanked God for them. I took pleasure in each one. Byron's loving faithfulness, Amy's tenderheartedness, Holly's encouraging heart, their husbands, my grandchildren, my aunts, nieces, nephews, etc. Well, you get the picture.

I was "calling the roll" of my family, when the choir began singing, Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord. When they got to the line, "I want to see you, I want to see you," the Lord spoke to my heart and asked me,

"Do you see what I see?

Without waiting for my answer He said, "Open your eyes and see."

I opened my eyes and I believe I saw us as He sees us--as a Father proud of His children. In the same way as I was recounting the blessings of my children, He let me see us--His sons and daughters--and how He takes pleasure in us. I saw His light and beauty in each choir member singing His praises. Eyes closed, smiles, hands raised. Then, in my mind's eye I saw behind me and beside me, His children with upturned faces and raised hands, praising the Lord for His goodness, His beauty and His majesty.

I was aware of our human frailties but each time I thought of our humanity I was checked in my spirit. The Lord said,

"See Me in her. See Me in him."

I saw everything good. I saw worship.

The Lord of all takes pleasure in us, His children. He takes pleasure in our worship. What an awesome thing!

2 Cor 6:18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

Thank you, Father. Thank you.

Suz

what I did on my summer vacation

It was such a big trip--14 days away from home. Traveling from Vancouver, BC, to the Inside Passage, stopping at Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway, then boarding a train to stop at Mt McKinley, Denali Park, to Fairbanks and home. I've never been away from home for that many days in a row before. I guess I can't say that anymore, can I? Once I got home, spoke to my girls and family, saw my pups, and got over this cold, I knew I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

The zipline was a hoot and I was terrible at it. Everyone else in the group sailed straight down the line to the next landing. Not me. I clinched so tightly to the harness assembly at the top of the line that I turned myself to the far right each and every time I zipped. Then, when it came time to slow down before landing, I usually braked too hard and stopped short so the poor boy guide would have to help me pull myself clumsily up to the landing. Except for the time I didn't brake hard enough. I plowed into him. I'm a big girl. Him, not so much. Knocked him into the padded tree behind him. We had a good laugh each time it was my turn to land. Some of us laughed more than others.

The ATV adventure was amazing. Byron and I got a two-seater Rhino so I didn't have to drive. It's a good thing, too, because I'd have turned around for sure at the first sign of water. It was a cold, drizzly day and we dressed warmly but it didn't mean much when we hit the creek and crossed it with water up to our wheel tops. Talk about a rush! We were in a natural gravel pit with rushing streams running through it and gorgeous snow topped mountains all around. There were 11 vehicles that included 2 guides, one in the back and the other in front. One by one, over hill over dale, we went flying over the rough terrain and upstream through the water, laughing and, some of us, screaming all the way. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

This trip was an adventure in so many ways. The time away, the distance, and going with a group of people that, for the most part, were related to one another but not to us. When we started planning this trip, my daughter asked me, "Are you sure about going on a two week trip with these people?" She knows very well how I need my alone time. But, this was a lovely trip. There was no emotional "claustrophobia" at all. We were free to participate or go it alone. It was easy and fun to be with one another. One of the things I liked most about it was that there were all ages in our group from little Noah, Ava and Peyton to Helen and Voline and Mr and Mrs Mooty. We were truly community.

As I think about the fun things we did and the beauty we saw--the awe-inspiring majestic mountains, the tremendous glaciers, the delicate beauty of the ever-present flowers, the wildlife, and the warmth of the Alaskan people--I am humbly grateful to have had this experience. This trip was not a little thing for me. It was big. A big, good thing. I'm a blessed woman.

Thank you, Father. I had a great time!

Suz

coming home from our Alaskan adventure

We've had a great trip. Period. No pain. No drama. We saw lots of interesting things like whale's tails, ice bergs, bald eagles and glaciers. Felt lots of cold and rain. Had 18-22 hours of daylight, lots of laughs with dear friends and dessert at least twice a day. Ziplined, atv'd, and gold panned--which I must say, were a total BLAST! Took too many photos of probably all the wrong things--(I've never claimed to be a photographer).

And I missed home. It wasn't too bad until about day 6 and we were getting ready to hit the train for parts north towards Fairbanks, but that day was kinda hard. Missed my kids, grandkids, friends and the pups.

But, we made it. Home. A lovely place with lovely people. And I am grateful to the Lord for it and them. Period.

Will write more and show a few pics shortly.

I missed you guys.

Suz

trips

I am suspending my blog for a couple weeks while we go adventuring around the world...ok, to Alaska. But that's pretty far away, right?

We have a couple of adventures planned: a zipline trip through the rainforest canopy and an ATV adventure with the group. It should be fun. I don't know what else we will do but I'm hoping for a little R&R.

Take care, everyone.

God is good. All the time.

Love,
Suz