mom to mom

I've fallen down in a big way in getting to know my neighbors. Our neighbor's son died this week of a heart attack. He was 37 years old and used to wait on the school bus with our girls as kids. I took some food to the family yesterday and talked with the mom for just a few minutes and she let me pray for her and her family, but I don't really know her even though we've lived a few houses away from one another for nearly 30 years.

I knocked on the door and was invited inside where she and her other son watched a little television--passing the hours, the minutes. She seemed peaceful in her recliner as she held her coffee in one hand and tightly grasped my hand with the other. As I prayed for her, her grip grew tighter and afterward her gaze on me was strong. Not uncomfortably so, just intense--mom to mom.

I asked her a few questions about Paul. He'd already had a heart attack once before and open heart surgery. It was the second one that was fatal. His mom said he didn't want to die in the hospital. She said he wanted to be at home when it happened. I told her, "There's nothing wrong with that."

My visit was a short one. I didn't really know what more to say after praying. She thanked me for the food and I walked out the door and down the street back to our house.

Her quiet demeanor, her pain, her gaze, spoke volumes to me--deep unto deep. I can't get her off my mind and I've prayed for her often since yesterday. I don't know how mothers let their children go--even in death where there is no choice but to release them.

My heart breaks for her. Her tragedy pulls at me. I am so very sorry she is going through this--this neighbor, this stranger who lives a few houses down. Life can be so hard, so devastatingly and so unutterably sad. I pray her son was a Christian. I pray the Holy Spirit will comfort this grieving mother.

I pray I will be a better neighbor.

Lord, help me be your hand extended more than ever before. You've never let me down. I love you more than words can say.

Suz