mentoring and ministry

I saw a long time friend the other day for the first time in almost 20 years. When we knew each other back then, she was a young married mom with a 2 yr old and I had been married 20-some years. She was very young and struggling with marriage. You know, the meeting-of-the-minds, adjustment part, when you have learn to compromise and consider your spouse? Her husband was struggling with them too, but she's the one who talked to me.

So we talked--a lot. She'd complain, threaten to leave him, and cry. I'd encourage, pray for her and wonder if they'd be all right. They moved to the other end of the state shortly afterward and we lost touch. Well, I found out the other night that they're ok. When she saw me she smiled broadly, hugged my neck and thanked me over and over again for all I did for her back then. She said she and her husband were doing great and if it were not for me, she'd have probably left him a long time ago.

I was stunned. Humbled, embarrassed and stunned. I began wracking my brain trying to remember anything I'd said to her. I couldn't recall a single, specific thing. She then mentioned a book I'd given her, Strike the Original Match, by Charles Swindoll. I remembered reading it and loving the book thinking it had so much down to earth, Christian wisdom, but I didn't remember giving it to her. It's funny, she mentioned it and then said she'd never even read it. So, I thought, well, if she never read that great book, and I couldn't recall any great wisdom I'd shared with her, what happened? What did I do to help?

As I thought about it I realized that our influence as friends is strong--especially we older sisters and brothers--toward our younger Christian siblings. I didn't do anything except be a good friend who listened and cared enough to pray for this couple. In my own immaturity at the time, I had no idea just how important these simple acts were. Being a friend? Caring? Praying for them? Was this ministry? I thought then that real ministry was preaching on the street corners, holding tent revivals, or running a bus route.

I've learned a lot in those nearly 20 years. I've learned there's always time for people. I've also learned when I ask someone how they are doing, to wait for an answer, to care about the answer, and then to respond accordingly. I've learned that prayer does help. It shook me a little to learn how much the simple things in a friendship mean.

Our lives are living testimonies to Christ and our influence spreads further than we ever dreamed possible. It was unnerving to realize the impact my friend attributes to my life on hers. We don't live in a vacuum. Look around with the Lord's eyes. Whom do you influence? Whom are you mentoring?

I love you all.
Suzanne