I went grocery shopping yesterday. Boy, did I go grocery shopping. Costco was my first stop where I stocked up on meats, paper products, veggies, etc., and then I drove a few miles to our local Publix where I finished up buying all the things Costco didn't have or had too large packages of the things on my list.
Our little family of 3 doesn't need 5 lbs of dried pasta or a 4 lb box of Cheerios or a gallon of Mazola corn oil. It's just not necessary for our household. Then, just when I thought I was done, I remembered a specific ingredient or two I'd forgotten and made a quick stop back at Publix after Kayla's physical therapy yesterday afternoon. Believe it or not, Kayla told me this morning I'd forgotten two other items that I'll just have to pick up someday, but I assure you it won't be today.
I shopped all day. OK, that's just how long it took me. I'm not a speedy shopper. I have to look a little, don't you know. When I finally drove into my garage with my treasure trove of purchases, I was very tired, and yet the fun had yet to begin. Now I had to put all these items away. Some of them would be tricky because I don't have a lot of grocery storage space and I'd have to make room for the 6 cans of diced tomatoes and the 16 cans of tuna (some things we do really use a lot of). Besides those items, I bought specific food for Holly and Sid's birthday dinner tonight which added more stuff to put away. Let's just say, it was going to take a while.
Byron met me at the garage.
"I just want to warn you. I bought everything."
I opened the trunk.
"I see that."
That was the extent of our exchange about my purchases. Then we both began carrying bags and boxes into the house. We have a second refrigerator in our garage for sodas and waters and the overflow of food from our kitchen fridge and my dear husband had cleaned it beautifully before I got home. Just out of the clear blue. I didn't ask him. He just did it. He knew I'd need it and he fixed it up for me. What a sweetheart!
I got busy maneuvering my groceries, stocking the cabinets and rearranging my freezers and it wasn't too long before I had everything put away and I breathed a sigh of satisfaction. It feels good to have a full pantry. By this time, I was very grateful and glad this task had been completed.
Now let me tell you the rest of the story. When I woke up yesterday morning I dreaded my shopping marathon. I knew it would be a long, tiring day, both physically and mentally. As a perfectionist, I try to cut out as many unnecessary steps as possible. This constant calculating of steps and routes will wear a body and mind down. I had a little list. By no means was it a complete list so I was also constantly trying to remember exactly what I needed, so one way or another, I knew this day was going to be real work.
As I first walked around Costco, I had a slight feeling of discontent, of dread. Even as I shopped I grumbled a little. Immediately, the Holy Spirit checked me. I knew what I was doing was wrong. In the midst of my abundance I was ungrateful to the Lord for his immense blessings. At this time when many, many people are losing their jobs and trying to make ends meet, trying to take care of their families, trying to put a meal on the table, here I was discontent because I was stocking my pantry without worry of whether or not I could pay for my purchases. At that moment, I was completely ashamed of myself.
I quickly asked the Lord to forgive my ungrateful heart. I was so sorry I had grumbled. I thought about how the children of Israel murmured and complained about the manna the Lord generously supplied for them as they wandered in the desert, and I saw myself doing the same thing at Costco in Forest City, Florida, in February 2009. There was no difference.
The Lord forgave me. He said if we ask, He will do it. My heart was lightened and I started enjoying my day. I still didn't shop quickly, but I did shop contently. I felt patient and happy as I pushed my heavy cart around the warehouse and then later on as I wielded my basket around the aisles of Publix, twice in one afternoon. I never again want to be as selfish, as ungrateful, as complaining as I was yesterday. The Lord is too, too good to me.
Father, thank you for the conviction of your Holy Spirit on my heart yesterday. Help me to always have a grateful heart for you and your gifts. You give us our daily bread. In your wisdom, you fix our plates, and you put on them what we need, when we need it. I always want to honor you with my attitude. I love you so very much.
Suz
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