mom to the rescue

I love coming to my children's rescue. There have been frog and snake rescues for Amy along with quick trips to the drugstore for cold medicines and prescriptions, and I have bought a few necessities and medicines for Holly and the girls when there was illness at their house. When I am called upon, my heart races and I am resolute in my mission to supply what my girls and their families need in a pinch. I live for this stuff. It's my job; it's what I do.

I am Mom.

On my way to the hospital this morning to be with Holly and Hannah after surgery, I thought about the freshly brewed iced tea and homemade chicken broth I had in my bag for them. It was something to make the day a tiny bit more palatable while they are away from home. I was asked for the tea and I volunteered the soup. My girls had needs. I was joyful in my efforts to meet them. To do this brings ME joy!

In a more important vein, my own daughter comes to the rescue of her girls. For this season, it's Hannah and her surgery. Holly is right beside her eldest every moment she's allowed, attending to her needs, comforting her when she's fearful and becoming the lioness who advocates for her cub when she needs defending. The cycle: attend, comfort, supply, defend. She's doing it so well. Holly, the mom, to the rescue!

It's what mothers do.

Our heavenly Father is our parent. He calls Himself, our Father! Our parent. If I get this much joy when meeting a request or a need from my girls, how much MORE does our heavenly Father get joy out of meeting OUR desires when we are in need and we ask Him? If I am willing to drop everything and drive across town to deliver tea and soup, and Holly will spend night and day with her child, won't the Lord see our plight and bend down to minister to us, His children? Won't He see me, His daughter, and come to my rescue? My heart is full of gratitude and adoration for the Lord and the way He takes care of me, how He supplies my needs and so many of my wants.

I lack nothing.

Father, thank you for your care for us, your children. Thank you for coming to our rescue! You bless me beyond measure. Thank you for your hand in Hannah's surgery and her continuing recovery. There is no one like you! I must be your favorite for you are better to me than anyone else! My heart brims with gratitude and love for you. "I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat. This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming..."

Suz

clarity

I was planning activities for someone else when I really wasn't "in the mood" to do it so I started to resent every errand or task associated with this activity. This was supposed to be a fun thing. A good thing. But it didn't feel fun OR good. So, I started thinking how I would feel if someone was doing something that was supposed to be a fun time for me with a poor attitude and dread. I didn't like how it felt at all.

Then, in what seemed like out of the clear blue sky, the person said something about how nice it would be for me after all this is over. It seemed sad for her to say it like she did. I thought I was hiding it pretty well but she must have been reading me better than I thought. So I said, "After this is all over we're going to look back and smile about it. This is a fun time and we're going to have fun doing all the stuff that goes along with it." I don't know where that thought came from, except from the Lord, because I hadn't been feeling that way at a all.

That was the turning point for me. As soon as I said it, the light bulb came on. Yes! It is going to be fun and we will have fun doing these things and we WILL look back on these few days fondly, with great memories. And we are! We're having a blast!

I don't know exactly what happened to change my outlook except that the Lord showed me the possibilities. He doesn't ever make us do the right thing. I could have chosen to wallow around in the "I don't WANT to's," and made everyone around me miserable enough that no one would want to be around me. Until a few days ago, I have never seen so clearly that I have a CHOICE about my attitude. I can choose to be grumpy or happy, and for whatever reason, this time I chose the higher road. I made a choice to have fun with this--and I am! We've had fun days of preparation and events and it's been a lot of work, but worth it all.

I make no claims that I have this lovely (read: personally challenging) issue settled forever. Every day, no matter how many birthdays I've had, I see how I am still a student of the Lord, learning how to listen to Him more clearly, learning how to put into practice what I have been hearing, and learning how to set my own feelings aside for the moment and think of someone else. For this test, for this issue, for this time, I think I am really getting it right and I am so grateful to the Lord for it because this outcome is not only affecting me, but others that I love and care for.

Father, what a great time for clarity of thought! I am loving this! Thank you for your guidance and your patience with me. Help me remember that as much as I'd sometimes like it to be, this life is not all about me. Please help me keep my thoughts and attitudes as close to yours as is possible and help me put them into practice as they come up. I think we'll all be happier if I do these things Your way. Help me hear your voice and obey. I love you so much.

Suz

how the Lord shows mercy and is kind.

Tonight I read a new friend's testimony about her life and how the Lord took care of her and her children over the last twenty years and I am immediately humbled AND checked by it. Compared to her life, I've lived on proverbial EASY St. and yet, somehow, I still have the nerve to complain? Through her many challenging years she held on to Exodus 9:16 "But I have raised you up for the very purpose, that I might show my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." She and her children are now reaping the harvest of the Lord's blessing on her steadfastness in Him--and I am truly ecstatic for them.

At the same time, I wonder how, I wonder why some people come out of hardship soaring and others, whose troubles don't seem as dramatic, seem to wallow in it all their lives. Why do some of my family members still sit in the mud? Why am I tangled in the results from what they have sown?

So, I reach for my Bible and look up praise and worship and find Psalm 103...Praise to the Lord of Love.

All that I am, praise the Lord;

everything in me, praise his holy name.
² My whole being, praise the Lord
and do not forget all his kindnesses.
³ He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
⁴ He saves my life from the grave
and loads me with love and mercy.
⁵ He satisfies me with good things
and makes me young again, like the eagle.

⁶ The Lord does what is right and fair
for all who are wronged by others.

⁷ He showed his ways to Moses
and his deeds to the people of Israel.
⁸ The Lord shows mercy and is kind.
He does not become angry quickly, and he has great love.
⁹ He will not always accuse us,
and he will not be angry forever.
¹⁰ He has not punished us as our sins should be punished;
he has not repaid us for the evil we have done.
¹¹ As high as the sky is above the earth,
so great is his love for those who respect him.
¹² He has taken our sins away from us
as far as the east is from west.
¹³ The Lord has mercy on those who respect him,
as a father has mercy on his children.
¹⁴ He knows how we were made;
he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ Human life is like grass;
we grow like a flower in the field.
¹⁶ After the wind blows, the flower is gone,
and there is no sign of where it was.
¹⁷ But the Lord's love for those who respect him
continues forever and ever,
and his goodness continues to their grandchildren
¹⁸ and to those who keep his agreement
and who remember to obey his orders.
¹⁹ The Lord has set his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over everything.
²⁰ You who are his angels, praise the Lord.
You are the mighty warriors who do what he says
and who obey his voice.
²¹ You, his armies, praise the Lord;
you are his servants who do what he wants.
²² Everything the Lord has made
should praise him in all the places he rules.
My whole being, praise the Lord.

As I read this whole chapter, I am comforted because His word has spoken to my complaints and my pain. Everything that seemed out of control because I feel overwhelmed is very much secure and safe, so I can move forward instead of hiding away till the storm passes. I'm so glad he "loads me with grace and mercy!"

My Father isn't afraid of my questions and He doesn't chastise me because I am miserable. Verses 13 and 14 says He has mercy on his children and knows I'm dust. I am weak, and He reassures me about His character and His attributes and His attitudes toward me, His child. I have every reason under the sun to look up and praise him with my whole self!

It's still a tough time for me right now, but I have not become a social recluse and, as much as I would like them to, my concerns have not vanished into the air. After reading my friend's testimony and Psalm 103, my resolve is strengthened and my heart is easier because the Lord is in charge of me. I have every reason to praise Him with my whole being!

What a great God we serve!

Father, You know all about my troubles and you are bigger than them all. Thank you for your care. I praise you because you are God! Your love will continue forever and ever and your goodness will continue down to my grandchildren! I love you so much! Thank you. Thank you!

Suz

pieces and parts running for the border

My best friend wrote a note to me yesterday about what her body is doing to her as she gets older. It wasn't a pretty description--but it was funny and yet sad at the same time. Then I wrote my description to her of what is going on with my body. It was sad, but still pretty funny. Kinda funny, anyhow. I told her I had to laugh to keep from crying.

As upsetting as all this physical stuff could be, it's also kind of interesting to watch it step by step. I see all this happening. The wrinkles, bumps, bulges and expanding places. Pieces and parts running for the border. Gray hairs popping up in the oddest places. Extra chins blossoming faster than I care to admit and a tummy that's racing for the finish line like its life depends on it. And it just won't stop! I could probably head it off at the pass with dieting and exercise, if I had the gumption, or the energy, or the want-to. But I don't. It's that simple. I don't.

There was a time when I had all of the above: gumption, energy and want-to. I'd diet till the cows came home and I'd exercise like a crazy woman. OK, I've never really exercised like a crazy woman. I hate exercise. It bores me and besides, it makes me tired. I know I'm supposed to have more energy when I exercise regularly but I've never had the pleasure of gaining all the over the top energy boost. It has NEVER happened for me.

This aging stuff isn't for sissies. I've never been this old before and sometimes it's pretty scary. One wrong move--a fall, a slip, anything out of the ordinary, and I could be messed up for a long time. I don't have time to be messed up for a long time!

My other best friend recently had some chest pain and had herself checked out. It turned out not to be a heart attack but just seeing the words, "not a heart attack," on the email from my dear friend since I was 9 years old shook me to my very core. Seriously, it upset me a lot. C'mon! We're not old enough for heart stuff, are we?

Oh. We are.

Yes, I read the obits last week and saw a former classmate had died...and the one before that...and the one before that.

I don't want to be incapacitated. I want to stay active and live a vital, vibrant life. And I try. I really do. I participate in extra activities often. I don't sit around a lot. But I'm telling ya that it gets harder every passing year to push to do "fun stuff." It doesn't always seem worth the effort. The older I get, the more I'm understanding why older people start staying closer and closer to home. It's just easier...and not really so bad, either.

Aging. Getting older. Getting old. Old lady. Staying active and vital and vibrant. It's a tough walk. The mind shouts one thing and the body whispers another. "Get out! Have fun! Be with friends and family! You'll love it!" versus "I'm tired. That swing looks nice. Let's have a little dinner and talk. Think I'll chill here at home."

I gotta say that life sure changes as the years pass. Some seasons are longer than others--or maybe they just feel that way. I'm curious to watch how my current season will play out. It makes me very glad to know that "the steps of the righteous are ordered of the Lord."

Thank you, Lord for ordering my steps. Help me enjoy full advantage of what you have for me. I don't want to miss anything you've planned! I ask you for energy and diligence for every day life and serving you. I love you so very much.

Suz

scooping up the underdog

She ran to me and I scooped her up into my arms. I held her and comforted her. She gets picked on by the others--a lot--so, I did more than just the loose, one armed pick-up. I wrapped both my arms around her and held her close to me. I whispered soothing words to her and she settled right down. She knew she was safe. She knew if she needed it, I'd hold her forever. There was peace in the land and in her heart.

Sylvia is the underdog. She's the one the others mistreat. She's a loner with no close friends. She was lost and undone and I rescued her. She was thirsty and I gave her water. She was scared and weary and I gave her a safe resting place.

When all was calm--when SHE was calm--when she was refreshed and renewed, I placed her feet back on the ground and she went about the business of life.

I love when Jesus scoops me into His capable arms and comforts me. I rest in Him and when I need it, He holds me forever.

Thank you, Jesus. I love you.

Suz

resting anyway

Did you ever get an email forward that warned you of a dire plot by evil men to do you harm? They are fear mongering darts of dread and terror that sit in your inbox just waiting to try and make you shake in your boots.

The first time or two I received them I thought that I should be on the look out for the fear du jour. That would be prudent and responsible. Right? Shouldn't I look for HIV infected needles taped to gas pump handles? Watch out for the parking lot perfume seller who is spritzing his victims with ether so she can be robbed or worse? What about the gang initiation ruse with the flashing car headlights?

Have any of these things ever really happened? Honestly, I doubt it, but just because I doubt it does it mean there is no evil in the world and that we will never have dangerous situations to face? Of course not. The world is filled with evil, and there are plenty of lost human beings willing to carry it out.

The Bible offers us comfort and encouragement in the Lord as our protector and defender.

Psalms 3:1-4 O LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him."But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill.

Got enemies? He is a shield around us!

Need uplifting? Feeling weak? Therein lies the beauty. The Lord says when our strength is gone, He will be our strength. He is the lifter of our head! He bestows glory and lifts our head!

Lonely and scared? He answers us from His holy hill!

Sometimes circumstances in our lives seem to shake us to our very core. We feel overwhelmed and at the end of our strength and patience. We wonder how in the world will we EVER deal with this in the coming days and weeks, even months--years?

Remember the old hymn?

"Where could I go, Oh, where could I go. Seeking a refuge for my soul. Needing a friend to save me in the end. Where could I go but to the Lord?"

I'm so glad my strength and wisdom is not my own. I'm glad the Holy Spirit comforts us when we fear. I'm glad the Lord speaks to our hearts and encourages us. When we get that email or hear about something heinous on the evening news, we need not fear. We can cry out to God and rest in His protection.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalms 4:8

Father, When we fear, where else could we go but to you? I love you and cry out to you in my hour of need. You are precious to me. I rest in you.

Suzanne

making memories with alligators

Holly, Hannah, Summer and I went to Gatorland today for a Spring break outing. I wish I could have had Amy and Sid with us too, but we couldn't work it out for this trip. We had a wonderful time though and hopefully we'll all get to go on the next one. I like having ALL my children with me!

The weather was just right, neither too hot nor too cold. We got there early enough that the crowds weren't unbearable and since the fire and remodeling a couple of years ago, the attraction was really up to date and interesting. There were alligators galore, along with shows every hour or so, a swamp walk, a train ride, and a Bird sanctuary walk that was absolutely perfect. All this for Florida resident prices of $9.99 for the day! What a bargain! Seriously!

I loved today. The girls and I haven't had a day with just us in a little while now. I've missed it. My granddaughters are growing up so quickly that I feel like I'm on a ride too fast for me. I need to hang on, slow down or just get off and it's not possible. The time train is zooming out of the station and on its route. Summer will be 9 in about 2 weeks and Hannah is already nearing 15 years old. I remember when Hannah's little embryo body was the size of a pinto bean. (we kept up with all the illustrations from the childbirth book.) I had just started community college when Holly got pregnant with her and I reconsidered going to school in case I was needed. I stayed in school an it all worked out. She was born and I still got my degree. Now Hannah's a teen and as much fun as I always dreamed she'd be. She listens when I speak about issues and shares her views. She makes me laugh with her quick dry wit and quirky sense of humor and laid back manner.

Summer is a ball of fun with curly blonde hair and, for the moment, a front toothless grin. She wants to try everything and has a blast doing it! "Wanna check out the Gator wrestling show? Sure! Wanna sit on an alligator's back? Oh, please, can I ? Can we get a snack? What time is lunch? Suzy, do you have a dollar for some M & M's? I wanna ride the train. I didn't know there was a water park. I wish I'd brought my bathing suit and a towel! Here are the white alligators--let's go in here. Oh Mommy, can I buy a bag of rocks? Will you stay at my house and play with me when we get home? Let's go outside and look at my swing and sand pile." Summer is excited about everything. She makes me stretch and extend my comfort level even when I'm a bit tired. I push so she has fun. It's good to push.

I can't help but compare my experiences with my grandmothers and my experience with my grands. I barely knew mine. They were in other states and we only made the pilgrimage a week or so every few years. Although they were kind to me, they knew little to nothing about me as an individual and were too old, or sick, (or something) to try to get to know me. Let's just say it wasn't a priority. Because I'd never known anything different than that, it didn't bother me. That's just the way it was. As I look back, though, I see that we all missed out on something that could have been priceless. They could have discovered my sense of humor, my interests and have gotten to know me. And I could have learned about them, their interests and I could have heard stories from years ago about my family heritage and history. What invaluable resources were lost because we didn't connect?

All I can do now is make a sincere effort to connect with my grandchildren. I listened to their school and family stories and their jokes. Today they listened and asked questions as I pointed out Orlando landmarks of where their grandfather and I went on our first date forty some years ago. It made me wish I'd known more about my grandparents early lives and their relationship. But all that is the proverbial water under the bridge. I must move on from where we are now.

Like today. Making memories. Hopefully making memories they will never forget. Memories that, if the Lord tarries, they will recount to their children, and who knows! Maybe my great-great grandchildren will someday hear the story of our trip to Gatorland today and what a fun day it was.

It could happen.

Father, thank you so much for our beautiful day today. The snowy egrets with their delicate lacy plumage, in the bird sanctuary, were breathtaking! I hope I never forget their pristine, white silhouettes against the dark brown water of the swamp and the gray of the sunning alligators. But mostly , thank you for precious time with my little girls who won't be little too much longer. I am so blessed by my family. I am fully blessed by each individual in it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so very much.

Suz