It's been a long week. We've had some family issues and some physical issues. Several friends have had serious health problems and one more former high school classmate died. (That seems to be happening more often lately.) Did I say it's been a long week? On the flip side, I was concerned about something...oh, go ahead, Suz, say it! I was worried about something so I prayed about it and the Lord met the need within two days!
The Lord doesn't always work so quickly when I pray, but this time he did, and I'm deeply grateful. Sometimes you just need to know he's really there and listening and truly cares about what's going on in your life enough to say "Yes, I'll do it," when we ask. It meant much to me to have a physical answer to my heart's cry out to God.
We all have seasons of turmoil that seem to churn and churn and they never allow us to be calm and restful inside. We pray and pray and then we worry and fret and then we pray and pray again. We may find a breath of peace for the moment and then it all begins again. It's the silence and dimness of his presence that bother's me most. I read a devotional by Oswald Chambers that addressed this darkness and it's helped me a lot. The Bible says, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they will never die and no one can steal them out of my hand. John 10:27 Chambers says to picture the Lord holding us in his carefully closed hand. He's holding us preciously, protectively, fingers wrapped gently around us so as to take care of us and not to hurt us. From our perspective, we are confined and kept in the dark and silence when it is just the opposite. He is keeping us safely tucked away, ever present in our lives while we weather the current storm. Same circumstances, the dark silent time where God isn't available and doesn't care versus the dark, quiet time knowing the Lord is in control. It's about perspective. It's about faith.
This is when our faith in the goodness of God toward his children must be our bedrock. Even though we may seemingly be facing life alone, even though the Lord may be silent and he may seem a million miles away from where we are, we believe and we trust in him simply because we know the truth. He promises, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Heb 13:5. And when we don't know or don't understand why we're going through these times, we can remember, "The steps of the righteous are ordered of the Lord and he delights in his way." Psalm 37:23
Despite how we may feel at the hardest moments of our lives, the Lord has only good in mind for us. "I say this because I know what I am planning for you, says the Lord. I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future." Jeremiah 29:11 These are the moments that we don't try to hold on and to be stronger. We are not strong enough to hold on till this stuff passes. These are the very times when we let go and fall into the arms of Jesus and let him carry us through our storm. I will never forget how the Lord carried me through my time of taking care of my terminally ill mother a few years ago. Many people praised me telling me how wonderful I was and how strong I was but I was always careful to let them know, that I didn't do it. Oh, I went to the dr's appts and stayed with her at home and did all her stuff, but there's no doubt in my mind that I was carried throughout that nearly 4 years. He carried me! I promise you, the Lord promises you, you will not be disappointed in him. We may not always understand every nuance of our heartache and pain and struggle, but Jesus never fails. Never.
Lord, thank you for the answer to my prayer this week. I needed to know you've been hearing me despite this long struggle and you helped me. Your timing is always perfect. It may not be my timing but it is perfect because you are perfect. Help me to let go, to leave my worries to you. Sometimes I hold them too closely because it makes me feel in control. Now, that's funny! Even I know that's just crazy talk! I love you for taking care of my family and me and for loving us like you do. You love us all! How great is that? Loosen my grip, Father! You handle my life so much better than I.
Love,
Suz
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