melting

Have you ever just looked at someone and felt overwhelming love and care for them? I remember when our girls were small and I'd see them playing or eating or sleeping and a wave of love as deep as the ocean would wash over my heart. My knees grew weak and their simple, youthful beauty brought tears to my eyes. I felt inadequate to be everything they needed and yet I also realized that I was the one they had...I had to step up and be their mother, their parent, their protector, their champion, whether I felt strong or not.

I feel similarly with each of my grandchildren, but with a twist. The overwhelming wave of love washes over me and my knees grow weak at their complete beauty, both inside and out, and I melt when they are near...but the ultimate responsibility for parenting and protecting does not lie with me--rather, with their very capable parents. In this, is the best of both worlds. I still have the warm and fuzzy feelings, but the work is done by their mother and father. I believe this is the beauty of grandparenting. There is still the responsibility as a grandparent to be a stable, loving, supportive influence in their lives but it is like the cherry on top of the dessert--not the meat and potatoes of the meal.

I've noticed lately that when I look at my husband, even after all the years we've been together, dating over a year and married over forty-one years, when I look at him, my heart melts. It's funny, but I often don't see a 62 year old man, but my 18 yr old boyfriend with the big brown eyes and the long eyelashes and no, I don't need glasses because the heart doesn't need them to remember when.

Mostly, though, there are the other times, when I see the older husband, the one who has worked hard his whole life to support his family. The one who sacrificed day in and day out to provide a home, food, clothing and so many good things for us, his family. This is the guy who went to work whether he felt like it or not. He is the man who braved the summer sun and bitter winter cold to work for us out of love. He is my partner, my husband, my best friend. He's the best one of all, who still has the soft brown eyes and long lashes, and he's the one who melts my heart, still.

Father, thank you for the ones you've placed in my life who touch me deeply. Thank you for those who know me better than anyone on earth and still love me. You're good to me. I love you.

Suz