my birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 57 years old. Yay.

Now, I am not a Birthday Scrooge. I like having a good time on my birthday. I enjoy celebrating with good wishes from family, friends, cards, cake and ice cream...especially cake and ice cream, but since the first time I experienced pregnancy and childbirth (ooowwww), for me birthdays have shifted from celebrating the birthee (me) to celebrating the birthor (my mom). After I lived through all the months of morning sickness, fatigue, stretch marks, weight gain, labor, and delivery of my daughters, I gained new appreciation for my own mother's role in my birth-day.

Mom told me the story many times about when it came time to have me she was in the hospital in labor for 2 days with no result. She described how exhausted she was from the contractions and how the doc said I was laying crosswise in her body rather than head down ready to arrive. She told me how my dad told the doc if he didn't do something, and SOON, that he was taking her out of the hospital and taking her home--where we might both surely have died.

My mother told me how Dr Tull, under threat of bodily harm from my dad, finally took her into a delivery room and turned me around in her body with forceps that did great physical damage to her and bruised my head, face and shoulders badly. She told me how she, a frail 119 lb woman, nearly died giving birth to her first child. But she lived. And, I lived. Obviously.

When I was a kid, like most other children, my birthday was, "WHOO HOO!, MY birthday!" Hooray for me! As the first child and first niece, I was the hit of the party! It was fun and I loved it. But I always knew in the back of my mind that I had done nothing to get here. Why were people celebrating me?

It's great to have fun with the newborn's entry into her family's lives but I noticed that after a baby is finally here, the mother's effort and experience of pregnancy, labor and delivery are permanently set aside and the focus is shifted to only celebrating the child's arrival. Now, I realize the birth is the fruition of all the mother's experience. I know that having the baby is the whole point, and I understand celebrating. It's a great thing to have a new baby. Children are a gift from the Lord himself. No doubt. I just also think that we should not totally dismiss nearly a year of Mama's life.

There are a bunch of jokes about mothers who in "martyr-ly" fashion constantly remind their children, "I carried you for 9 months in my body and suffered for days in labor with you." There's fun in these humorous jabs, but I would like to see more of us stop and thoughtfully consider our mother's role in our birth. I know we have Mother's Day in May every year as a general appreciation time for mom, but your birthday-- my birthday-- is unique to our own mom's experience.

Every year before my mother died she called me late on that day or even the day after to wish me "Happy Birthday." Every single time she'd say, "I didn't forget you." I'd say, "Oh Mama, if you don't remember it, then nobody does!" Then, almost as though I'd given her some sort of permission, she'd tell me the story all over again. I loved hearing it.

Do you know the story of your very first birthday? That beautiful day when you arrived into this world? If it's possible, ask your Mom about that day and write down what she tells you. Ask her questions. It doesn't have to be a perfect essay, just make it a written part of your history because you don't want to forget it.

Many of you have children or will have children one day and this memory is a great one to pass along. Go ahead. Ask your mom. Yes, you may hear about the drama and the pain and the fear she felt. But, it's a big deal to give birth and, for most, it's a blessed day she will never forget. It's the story of your beginning and a memory you will want to keep forever.

I don't know why the Lord specifically chose my mother for me, but I believe He did. And I don't know why Mom had to suffer so much for me to be born, but she did. My mother went through a lot of pain fifty-seven years ago today, and even though she's in heaven now, I still want to say, "Thank you, Mom. I appreciate everything you went through to bring me into this world."

Father, It's my birthday today and so I thank you for my mother. In your wisdom you gave me to her to bear and to raise. She did the best she knew to do. In your wisdom, you've also placed me in the center of my specific circle of family and friends and I appreciate them so very much. It's going to be a good day, Lord. You're better to me than anybody else! I love you so much.

Suz