lizard huntin'

I was wrapped in a comforter, relaxing in my chair with two sleeping pups on my lap, watching a little television last night when I heard a panicky Kayla yell at me,

"Suzy! Come here! Come here! It's in my room!"

Now, Kayla doesn't get into a hurry about much and she doesn't get excited needlessly. She's a pretty laid back girl. So, when she yelled like she did, I hurriedly unwrapped myself, unreclined my chair and unceremoniously plopped the pups on the floor and nearly broke my neck trying to get to her to see what was so very wrong. She met me in the hall eyes wide, wide open and a huge smile on her face.

"There's a lizard in my room and I'm not sleeping in there unless you catch him! You gotta find him. He's over by the wall. EEEEK...get him get him!"

I knew the thing had been in the house for a few days because I'd seen him under the couch and on the fireplace screen but I pretty much ignored his presence and hadn't said anything about him being around to Kayla. I didn't really want to go lizard huntin'. But now I had no choice. I had to if we were going to get any rest at all.

I looked on the far side of the room on the floor and sure enough, there he was. He didn't look too good. He was gaunt and dried out but still pretty frisky. I slowly moved over to the side of the bed and got down on my knees, moving steadily toward the creature. He didn't budge.

Yet.

I quickly planned my attack and in one swift movement swooped my hand down and grabbed his tail and started to carry him to the front door. Success was going to be swift. Or so I thought. That's when his tail broke in the middle and I dropped everything on the floor--lizard body and still squirming lizard tail. Then I yelled, "Oooooh, Ooooohhhh.....Yuck, Yuck....Ick Ick!"

I couldn't help it. It freaked me out!

The lizard scooted underneath the bed back to the other side of the room. Now I was getting nervous. What if I couldn't catch him? Would there be any rest in Mudville tonight? I got down on my belly on the floor, lizard-huntin'. There he was within my grasp once again. I bravely swooped my hand down. AHA! Good shot! I caught him. He was mine!

That is until the meaty little monster started wriggling in the palm of my hand.

"Ooooooh! Ooooooh! Ick! Ick!"

I flung him back down on the carpeted floor. I couldn't help it. It felt really creepy. OK, back down on the floor on my belly.

"Kayla! Bring me a plastic cup. I see him."

He was backed into the corner but one false move on my part and I might never find him again. I held my peace and just watched him until I had the cup in hand.

Timing my movement to the split second, I carefully but quickly plopped the cup over the lizard. I had him now! He wasn't going anywhere but where I wanted him to if I had anything to say about it. Then I carefully slipped a dvd case under the cup full of lizard and gingerly carried the little creep outside. I bid him Godspeed and let him go.

Kayla was ecstatic and so was I. Ding dong the witch is dead!

My job was through here but just for principle's sake I made Kayla pick up and throw away the left behind tail. I had rescued her from the living breathing wiggly thing and she had to 'man up' and do lizard tail duty.

Welcome to my world.

Suz