to fill or not to fill

Ever been ticked off? Aggravated by a pokey or inconsiderate driver? What about that clerk that just doesn't treat you as you feel you ought to be treated? Anybody ever get on your last nerve? It's happened to me.

I read a devotion by Max Lucado the other day and he wrote of letting drops of anger fill up your bucket until it spills over into one big messy blowup. I thought about it and it seems to be true. Each time I get aggravated by something small it's like a drop plopping into a larger container. Some days my bucket doesn't fill up so fast, but sometimes, whew! Look out, I've got a gusher and there's going to be payday coming. It's not pretty and it's not Christ-like.

The Lord chastens me afterward and of course I feel sorry about it, but it doesn't change how bad I've made someone else feel. Apologies are good, but they are not magic words that erase the hurt I've inflicted on a fellow human being. If I pull a nail out of a board, the nail's gone, but the hole still remains. So remains the sting of irritated words.

Lately, I've been thinking about these little things, these aggravations, as drops that I can either act on and add to the bucket or let it go and keep that anger bucket empty. It's been working. It doesn't mean I'm always calm and unruffled, but what it has shown me is that if I take a second--a split second--and decide whether or not it's a bucketable offense, I usually find that letting it go is the wiser decision. Letting it go has kept my bucket nearly empty for a while now. So, no blowups. No nail holes. No hurts to regret. I'm looking for the day when these little things don't even pose the question of whether or not to add it to my bucket.

I Cor 13:5 It (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...

These lovely words describing true godly love convict my heart and show me more clearly where I need to move up. I won't be able to do it by completely by my own strength, but I do make choices to do good or not to do good, and the Lord is so patient and kind with me it makes me want to be more like Him than I ever have.

Lord, I want to be more like you than ever before. Fill me with your peace, your calm, your love.

Suz