precipices, lasagna, and issues

I've gotten a few things done this week, except write in this blog. I thought it would be easier to write everyday, but it hasn't been. Seems I've got to have something to say first. Fancy that.

I've done a little shopping, a few good deeds, and with Holly's help, finished a few small projects around the house. I've also felt solemn and had few smiles to go around. Sadness seems to be my companion lately. I don't feel horrible, just serious and not so jolly. I miss my mom and the way things were. I know it will pass, but for now it's very present. Having Kayla with us helps. I'm not going around the house in a mood of gloom and doom. She needs a few laughs and happiness so I make the effort.

I went to a new doctor who specializes in hormonal problems. She's started me on one hormone and some vitamins and I've had a bunch of bloodwork to analyze where I'm at, so to speak. I'll find out in a couple of weeks what she thinks and hopefully level out my system. I'm tired of standing on the edge of "the hole." I want to bask in the sun and feel good again. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on what she tells me.

In spite of standing on the edge of the precipice (I love that word), I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve and Christmas day. The family will gather at my house that night, and the next day, it's a big breakfast and the traditional Christmas lasagna. I know it sounds funny, but for several years now we've had lasagna on Christmas day. It couldn't be any farther away from turkey and ham and we all like it that way.

I read Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest for today and he used the verse,
2 Timothy 2:15, "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." He wrote of finding a principal of God such as salvation, heaven, tithing, or whatever, and learning it well so we can clearly explain it to someone else. Studying is hard work but Chambers said we must do this to have truth to share with others. If we will learn it well, the Lord will give us opportunity to share it with someone who needs it for strength. I love the last sentence in the devotion. "The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance." How many times have I read something wise and thought, "Wow, I knew that! I just didn't know how to put it into words." I love those lightbulb moments.

In the same vein, I had a prof who told us to find an issue and write an essay on it because until we could explain our stance on the issue clearly on paper, we wouldn't really know what we thought about it. It's the same principal. Learn it, then teach it. It made me think about some issues I struggle with and how I need to study and pray more about them so the Lord can use me to share them with someone else.

Above all, God is good. I love you all.

Suzanne