Every doll I ever had as a kid ended up looking like a tortured war victim. First came the obligatory bath, followed by the hair brushing and/or haircut. When the hair was sufficiently bushy and uncontrollable or completely whacked off, out came the ball point pen to draw on blue lipstick or earrings or a necklace and bracelet.
All the cute clothes she'd had when she was new--gone. I don't know where. They were just gone. The end result was always totally and completely ugly.
Mud fence ugly.
Yes, it was that bad. Always. With no exceptions.
My poor doll--the one that had been cherished and tenderly looked after only months before--was then summarily relegated to the bottom of the toy box never to be thought of or seen again until some future cleaning day when she would be discarded forever. There was no other way out.
Cold, huh? Heartless, right? You betcha.
Like my pitiful broken dolls, it happens all the time in the real world, too. Real live human beings beaten down by others, or circumstances or their own choices and they don't have the strength within themselves to get up. They don't have it within them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and try one more time to get off those pills or the booze. There is no energy or resolve to try one more time to get off the street and into a regular home where they can live safely without the fear of being robbed, beaten or worse.
I know many broken people. Some are family. Some are people I see as I drive through town. Some beg for money. Some sit there dejected and sad. Some busy themselves with shopping carts filled with their stuff. Their whole lives crammed into a metal basket on wheels.
Sometimes the brokenness is inward. Fear grips. Personal lives are a mess. Relationships have soured so badly it doesn't seem like they can ever be sweet again. Finances are such that it will be only days before choices are which bill to put a little money on or whether to eat or buy medicine. Hope is thready and thin. There seems to be no where to turn. It's the bottom of the toy box.
Micah 7:1
What misery is mine! I feel like the fruit picker after the harvest who can find nothing to eat. Not a cluster of grapes or a single fig can be found to satisfy my hunger.
Nothing on earth satisfies this gut hunger. This hunger for a real life, for peace of mind and heart doesn't begin and end with an 8-5 job. These dear, broken ones' misery is so all encompassing it seems as though there is no end. This misery isn't only of physical need. This misery and emptiness is caused by the absence of Jesus. He is the fixer of broken people. Regardless of why or how a person gets there, the Lord helps all those who call on Him.
Psalms 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
Do you know any frightened, broken ones? Are you broken outwardly or is your brokenness hidden? The Lord will help you. He will make you whole. Call on Him.
We can trust Him. He promised.
Suz
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
worship on Sunday
During worship on Sunday, I began thanking the Lord, one by one, for my family. I pictured each one individually, thought about their good qualities, and thanked God for them. I took pleasure in each one. Byron's loving faithfulness, Amy's tenderheartedness, Holly's encouraging heart, their husbands, my grandchildren, my aunts, nieces, nephews, etc. Well, you get the picture.
I was "calling the roll" of my family, when the choir began singing, Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord. When they got to the line, "I want to see you, I want to see you," the Lord spoke to my heart and asked me,
"Do you see what I see?
Without waiting for my answer He said, "Open your eyes and see."
I opened my eyes and I believe I saw us as He sees us--as a Father proud of His children. In the same way as I was recounting the blessings of my children, He let me see us--His sons and daughters--and how He takes pleasure in us. I saw His light and beauty in each choir member singing His praises. Eyes closed, smiles, hands raised. Then, in my mind's eye I saw behind me and beside me, His children with upturned faces and raised hands, praising the Lord for His goodness, His beauty and His majesty.
I was aware of our human frailties but each time I thought of our humanity I was checked in my spirit. The Lord said,
"See Me in her. See Me in him."
I saw everything good. I saw worship.
The Lord of all takes pleasure in us, His children. He takes pleasure in our worship. What an awesome thing!
2 Cor 6:18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Thank you, Father. Thank you.
Suz
I was "calling the roll" of my family, when the choir began singing, Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord. When they got to the line, "I want to see you, I want to see you," the Lord spoke to my heart and asked me,
"Do you see what I see?
Without waiting for my answer He said, "Open your eyes and see."
I opened my eyes and I believe I saw us as He sees us--as a Father proud of His children. In the same way as I was recounting the blessings of my children, He let me see us--His sons and daughters--and how He takes pleasure in us. I saw His light and beauty in each choir member singing His praises. Eyes closed, smiles, hands raised. Then, in my mind's eye I saw behind me and beside me, His children with upturned faces and raised hands, praising the Lord for His goodness, His beauty and His majesty.
I was aware of our human frailties but each time I thought of our humanity I was checked in my spirit. The Lord said,
"See Me in her. See Me in him."
I saw everything good. I saw worship.
The Lord of all takes pleasure in us, His children. He takes pleasure in our worship. What an awesome thing!
2 Cor 6:18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Thank you, Father. Thank you.
Suz
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
what I did on my summer vacation
It was such a big trip--14 days away from home. Traveling from Vancouver, BC, to the Inside Passage, stopping at Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway, then boarding a train to stop at Mt McKinley, Denali Park, to Fairbanks and home. I've never been away from home for that many days in a row before. I guess I can't say that anymore, can I? Once I got home, spoke to my girls and family, saw my pups, and got over this cold, I knew I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.
The zipline was a hoot and I was terrible at it. Everyone else in the group sailed straight down the line to the next landing. Not me. I clinched so tightly to the harness assembly at the top of the line that I turned myself to the far right each and every time I zipped. Then, when it came time to slow down before landing, I usually braked too hard and stopped short so the poor boy guide would have to help me pull myself clumsily up to the landing. Except for the time I didn't brake hard enough. I plowed into him. I'm a big girl. Him, not so much. Knocked him into the padded tree behind him. We had a good laugh each time it was my turn to land. Some of us laughed more than others.
The ATV adventure was amazing. Byron and I got a two-seater Rhino so I didn't have to drive. It's a good thing, too, because I'd have turned around for sure at the first sign of water. It was a cold, drizzly day and we dressed warmly but it didn't mean much when we hit the creek and crossed it with water up to our wheel tops. Talk about a rush! We were in a natural gravel pit with rushing streams running through it and gorgeous snow topped mountains all around. There were 11 vehicles that included 2 guides, one in the back and the other in front. One by one, over hill over dale, we went flying over the rough terrain and upstream through the water, laughing and, some of us, screaming all the way. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
This trip was an adventure in so many ways. The time away, the distance, and going with a group of people that, for the most part, were related to one another but not to us. When we started planning this trip, my daughter asked me, "Are you sure about going on a two week trip with these people?" She knows very well how I need my alone time. But, this was a lovely trip. There was no emotional "claustrophobia" at all. We were free to participate or go it alone. It was easy and fun to be with one another. One of the things I liked most about it was that there were all ages in our group from little Noah, Ava and Peyton to Helen and Voline and Mr and Mrs Mooty. We were truly community.
As I think about the fun things we did and the beauty we saw--the awe-inspiring majestic mountains, the tremendous glaciers, the delicate beauty of the ever-present flowers, the wildlife, and the warmth of the Alaskan people--I am humbly grateful to have had this experience. This trip was not a little thing for me. It was big. A big, good thing. I'm a blessed woman.
Thank you, Father. I had a great time!
Suz
The zipline was a hoot and I was terrible at it. Everyone else in the group sailed straight down the line to the next landing. Not me. I clinched so tightly to the harness assembly at the top of the line that I turned myself to the far right each and every time I zipped. Then, when it came time to slow down before landing, I usually braked too hard and stopped short so the poor boy guide would have to help me pull myself clumsily up to the landing. Except for the time I didn't brake hard enough. I plowed into him. I'm a big girl. Him, not so much. Knocked him into the padded tree behind him. We had a good laugh each time it was my turn to land. Some of us laughed more than others.
The ATV adventure was amazing. Byron and I got a two-seater Rhino so I didn't have to drive. It's a good thing, too, because I'd have turned around for sure at the first sign of water. It was a cold, drizzly day and we dressed warmly but it didn't mean much when we hit the creek and crossed it with water up to our wheel tops. Talk about a rush! We were in a natural gravel pit with rushing streams running through it and gorgeous snow topped mountains all around. There were 11 vehicles that included 2 guides, one in the back and the other in front. One by one, over hill over dale, we went flying over the rough terrain and upstream through the water, laughing and, some of us, screaming all the way. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
This trip was an adventure in so many ways. The time away, the distance, and going with a group of people that, for the most part, were related to one another but not to us. When we started planning this trip, my daughter asked me, "Are you sure about going on a two week trip with these people?" She knows very well how I need my alone time. But, this was a lovely trip. There was no emotional "claustrophobia" at all. We were free to participate or go it alone. It was easy and fun to be with one another. One of the things I liked most about it was that there were all ages in our group from little Noah, Ava and Peyton to Helen and Voline and Mr and Mrs Mooty. We were truly community.
As I think about the fun things we did and the beauty we saw--the awe-inspiring majestic mountains, the tremendous glaciers, the delicate beauty of the ever-present flowers, the wildlife, and the warmth of the Alaskan people--I am humbly grateful to have had this experience. This trip was not a little thing for me. It was big. A big, good thing. I'm a blessed woman.
Thank you, Father. I had a great time!
Suz
Saturday, July 19, 2008
coming home from our Alaskan adventure
We've had a great trip. Period. No pain. No drama. We saw lots of interesting things like whale's tails, ice bergs, bald eagles and glaciers. Felt lots of cold and rain. Had 18-22 hours of daylight, lots of laughs with dear friends and dessert at least twice a day. Ziplined, atv'd, and gold panned--which I must say, were a total BLAST! Took too many photos of probably all the wrong things--(I've never claimed to be a photographer).
And I missed home. It wasn't too bad until about day 6 and we were getting ready to hit the train for parts north towards Fairbanks, but that day was kinda hard. Missed my kids, grandkids, friends and the pups.
But, we made it. Home. A lovely place with lovely people. And I am grateful to the Lord for it and them. Period.
Will write more and show a few pics shortly.
I missed you guys.
Suz
And I missed home. It wasn't too bad until about day 6 and we were getting ready to hit the train for parts north towards Fairbanks, but that day was kinda hard. Missed my kids, grandkids, friends and the pups.
But, we made it. Home. A lovely place with lovely people. And I am grateful to the Lord for it and them. Period.
Will write more and show a few pics shortly.
I missed you guys.
Suz
Thursday, July 3, 2008
trips
I am suspending my blog for a couple weeks while we go adventuring around the world...ok, to Alaska. But that's pretty far away, right?
We have a couple of adventures planned: a zipline trip through the rainforest canopy and an ATV adventure with the group. It should be fun. I don't know what else we will do but I'm hoping for a little R&R.
Take care, everyone.
God is good. All the time.
Love,
Suz
We have a couple of adventures planned: a zipline trip through the rainforest canopy and an ATV adventure with the group. It should be fun. I don't know what else we will do but I'm hoping for a little R&R.
Take care, everyone.
God is good. All the time.
Love,
Suz
Saturday, June 28, 2008
the last puzzle piece
In the movie "Jerry McGuire," Tom Cruise tells Rene Zellweger, "You complete me." He's really making points with her by saying this to her because the need to feel complete is so great in each of us. He is saying that whatever is lacking in his life, she satisfies that lack. My guess is that she believes if she completes him, then he will do the same for her. This makes for a good movie scene but we in the real world know that one human being cannot do this in entirety for another human being.
We may fit together well with our best friend, personality-wise and we may even go together like hand in glove with our spouse, but, the truth is, deep down we know there are gaps and empty spaces that no other human being will ever be able to supply.
We all know people who have tried to fill this void with bad relationship choices, multiple marriages, and even having children or pets to try to replace what's missing for them, and nothing--no one--except Jesus, will fit the bill.
Keith Green sings a song about Jesus supplying exactly what he needed when he was unsaved. He sings, "I was so lost and you showed the way, 'cause you are the way. I was lied to but you told the truth, 'cause you are the truth. I was dying and you gave me Life, 'cause you are the Life. How I love you 'cause you gave your life for me." Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life.
In Isaiah 61:1-3 the prophet announces good tidings to those who need them most. The Lord sent him to "bind the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to those held captive, open the prison to the bound, comfort those who mourn, give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that ultimately the Lord would be glorified."
There is an emptiness, a vacuum, in each of us that only the Lord Jesus fills perfectly. In each instance, Jesus is the last puzzle piece. He gives us our much needed freedom, joy, beauty and comfort. No friend, spouse, child, pet, not even a teacher or pastor will, or can, do it all for us. As much as each one of these mean to us, they won't meet our need. The cross supplied our necessity for a Savior and He alone meets our every need, daily. No other person will fill that emptiness. Jesus fits exactly and only He completes the picture. Only He truly completes us.
Father, Help me to always look to you to fill the voids in my life. Whatever my need; comfort, joy, beauty, or praise for my heaviness...whatever the need...remind me to always look to you and to trust you to fill it. Thank you Lord for supplying these empty spaces, these gaps. Thank you, thank you.
Suz
We may fit together well with our best friend, personality-wise and we may even go together like hand in glove with our spouse, but, the truth is, deep down we know there are gaps and empty spaces that no other human being will ever be able to supply.
We all know people who have tried to fill this void with bad relationship choices, multiple marriages, and even having children or pets to try to replace what's missing for them, and nothing--no one--except Jesus, will fit the bill.
Keith Green sings a song about Jesus supplying exactly what he needed when he was unsaved. He sings, "I was so lost and you showed the way, 'cause you are the way. I was lied to but you told the truth, 'cause you are the truth. I was dying and you gave me Life, 'cause you are the Life. How I love you 'cause you gave your life for me." Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life.
In Isaiah 61:1-3 the prophet announces good tidings to those who need them most. The Lord sent him to "bind the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to those held captive, open the prison to the bound, comfort those who mourn, give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that ultimately the Lord would be glorified."
There is an emptiness, a vacuum, in each of us that only the Lord Jesus fills perfectly. In each instance, Jesus is the last puzzle piece. He gives us our much needed freedom, joy, beauty and comfort. No friend, spouse, child, pet, not even a teacher or pastor will, or can, do it all for us. As much as each one of these mean to us, they won't meet our need. The cross supplied our necessity for a Savior and He alone meets our every need, daily. No other person will fill that emptiness. Jesus fits exactly and only He completes the picture. Only He truly completes us.
Father, Help me to always look to you to fill the voids in my life. Whatever my need; comfort, joy, beauty, or praise for my heaviness...whatever the need...remind me to always look to you and to trust you to fill it. Thank you Lord for supplying these empty spaces, these gaps. Thank you, thank you.
Suz
Thursday, June 26, 2008
our chickens coming home to roost
Aunt Margaret may be coming home next week! She's been gone since April 21 and it seems like forever. She actually lives in Tennessee and Florida and now it's our turn again and I'm glad. We all miss her so much when she's up there going to doctor's appts and visiting with her children. She lives with Aunt Wanda down here and they take care of one another and keep each other company. It's a good arrangement. Now, if only Aunt Polly could come...
My sister Kathy and her family are moving down here from Pennsylvania to help with the business and be closer to us all. They should be here either Sunday night or Monday. This makes me very happy. I've missed her since she moved to PA back in the 70s. I think this will be a very good thing.
I'm not everyone's mother, but sometimes it feels like it. I often feel like a mother hen gathering her chicks to protect them. If everyone is home, then everything will be OK and if it's not OK, then we'll get through it together.
I remember when our girls, Amy and Holly, were young and we'd have bad weather. I couldn't rest until they were under our roof...close enough to touch...so I'd really know they were OK. I've said more than once to my then teens, "It's going to storm. I want you home!" Some of my fondest memories are during hurricanes or winter storms when we were relegated to the house because of conditions outside.
One Christmas we had such cold weather the power company did rolling blackouts, cutting power to specific areas for a while, then to others for a while to save power. I had stocked up with food and supplies, and Byron had more than enough wood stockpiled for the fireplace so we had nourishment and warmth. We had company staying with us that weekend so the house was full of people who couldn't go anywhere, so we had entertainment, too. The house was a disaster but we were full and warm and with all of us going through this together we had a blast! As long as my family was close by, I was content.
It's a little different now with both girls having families of their own, but still good. I love having everyone over within arm's reach, but I also love knowing they are nestled in their own cozy homes, spending time with their own little brood. There is contentment and continuity in family coming together, whether it's coming back home from a long time away or coming over for dinner at Mom's or knowing your children are together in their own nests.
My family is good to me. They allow me to gather them up under my wings and hold them close. Each and every one in his or her own unique way is a great blessing from God--from my husband to my two daughters and their families to my aunts, cousins and extended family.
As I yearn to gather my chicks, so does the Lord want even more to gather us and protect us. There is a certain amount of protection for my chicks at my house, but how much more contentment and protection are under the wings of Jesus.
Luke 13:34 How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn't let me.
There are real storms out there. Physical, emotional and natural hurricanes, tornadoes, and bitter cold storms.
2Samuel 22:3 My God is my rock, in whom I find protection...
Let Him gather us. Let Him protect us. No one can do it better.
Suz
My sister Kathy and her family are moving down here from Pennsylvania to help with the business and be closer to us all. They should be here either Sunday night or Monday. This makes me very happy. I've missed her since she moved to PA back in the 70s. I think this will be a very good thing.
I'm not everyone's mother, but sometimes it feels like it. I often feel like a mother hen gathering her chicks to protect them. If everyone is home, then everything will be OK and if it's not OK, then we'll get through it together.
I remember when our girls, Amy and Holly, were young and we'd have bad weather. I couldn't rest until they were under our roof...close enough to touch...so I'd really know they were OK. I've said more than once to my then teens, "It's going to storm. I want you home!" Some of my fondest memories are during hurricanes or winter storms when we were relegated to the house because of conditions outside.
One Christmas we had such cold weather the power company did rolling blackouts, cutting power to specific areas for a while, then to others for a while to save power. I had stocked up with food and supplies, and Byron had more than enough wood stockpiled for the fireplace so we had nourishment and warmth. We had company staying with us that weekend so the house was full of people who couldn't go anywhere, so we had entertainment, too. The house was a disaster but we were full and warm and with all of us going through this together we had a blast! As long as my family was close by, I was content.
It's a little different now with both girls having families of their own, but still good. I love having everyone over within arm's reach, but I also love knowing they are nestled in their own cozy homes, spending time with their own little brood. There is contentment and continuity in family coming together, whether it's coming back home from a long time away or coming over for dinner at Mom's or knowing your children are together in their own nests.
My family is good to me. They allow me to gather them up under my wings and hold them close. Each and every one in his or her own unique way is a great blessing from God--from my husband to my two daughters and their families to my aunts, cousins and extended family.
As I yearn to gather my chicks, so does the Lord want even more to gather us and protect us. There is a certain amount of protection for my chicks at my house, but how much more contentment and protection are under the wings of Jesus.
Luke 13:34 How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn't let me.
There are real storms out there. Physical, emotional and natural hurricanes, tornadoes, and bitter cold storms.
2Samuel 22:3 My God is my rock, in whom I find protection...
Let Him gather us. Let Him protect us. No one can do it better.
Suz
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